British Comedy Guide

" Edward is Straight " claims Sunday Newspaper

In an interview due to be published in The Sunday Times tommorrow, Gay Prince Edward makes a confession that will stun his family, the theatre world, his long term lover Steve Richardson but most of all his wife, the ridiculously horny Sophie Rhys-Jones.

Talking to Arts Correspondent Rosie Millard , the flamboyant Royal claimed, " I am and have always been 100% heterosexual."

The news is bound to have a dramatic effect on the Earl's marriage. Close friend and one time lover of retired footballer Rodney Marsh, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson told our reporter,

" There is no doubt about it, if this news is true it could destroy the Wessex's marriage. Sophie has always accepted that Eddie was as Camp as Christmas. It was part of the deal. She was to keep quiet about it and as an unofficial payment would be allowed to satisfy her immense sexual appetite by sleeping with the 1st Battalion of the Irish Guards. I can't believe Teddy would put this arrangement in jeopardy by claiming to be straight "

But the Prince's camp are insistent that Edward is all man and to prove it have organised a series of photo shoots showing the balding mincer partaking in traditionally "male" activities.

On Tuesday he was photographed running away from the Child Support Agency, and on Thursday he was pictured drinking his own urine at a Lap dance club in London's notorious Kings Cross district.

A spokesman for the Prince said, " Yes the Earl is so straight it's unbelievable. We can barely keep up with his bore-ish macho behaviour "

When asked if Edward had actually slept with a women yet the spokesman replied,

" Well he hasn't actually done that but he has been so busy doing other 'laddish' things like taking the piss out of minority groups, that he has barely had time for that kind of stuff ".

The Countess of Wessex was unavailable for comment but unofficial reports say that she will threaten divorce if her husband steps back into the closet.

Mmmmmmmmmmm are you aware of the law of libel Mr Pete? Laughing out loud

Only took me three attempts but I understand what you are getting at now with your articles (I am dumb). Yeah I think this one is probably the best so far. Hope that makes you very gay (happy) ;)

You should write for The Spoof. They love this sort of thing.

Quote: ajp29 @ August 19, 2007, 9:04 AM

Mmmmmmmmmmm are you aware of the law of libel Mr Pete? Laughing out loud

God, yes, if you took this to a broadcaster Pete their lawyers would probably have a panic attack!

Are we sure reporter Rosie Millard is "straight"? ;) See this at http://tinyurl.com/23je97 and then http://tinyurl.com/yuo46l

Of course I mean "straight" as in the definition 'characterized by honesty and fairness; "straight dealing"; "a square deal" ' and I'm asking a question, not making a statement. ;) :D

And I think the original poster forgot to put this link http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i23552

Beware! This "fact" may already have appeared on Wikipedia! RME

The Libel thing is interesting. I suppose the website spoof.com have looked into this. I suppose the internet has different libel laws to print.

Anyway don't think Ol Eddie would take me to court over this one. Would be like me claiming Jim Davidson was a right wing misogynist, Some things are just known.

And before anyone charges me with homophobia, it's a spoof story remember,taking the rise out of sensationalist right wing newspapers, i.e N of the W

Nope, the internet is just as much publication as book, TV and radio broadcasts, newspapers etc. The only difference in libel is between countries not between media.

As you say, the spoof site which published your spoof story makes it clear that the story is totally fictitious. Just make a joke now and say you're an agent provocateur for libel lawyers and you should be safe ;)

Cheers Goldnutmeg. Say , Are you some kind of crazy Law Student ?

That sounds like a feeder line to me to which I should reply "Nope, just crazy ..." :D

When something is written or performed in parody. You cant actually be sued for it. If you could most of the comedians and writers the world over would be even more potless than they are already!

How interesting it is to note that when KP goes down he will, of course, be taking the BSG down with him. So may I suggest that as we wave a cheery goodbye to Kent Pete, Aaron and Mark that we immediately begin a 'Free the BSG 3' campaign - or maybe should we just go for a curry instead?

Hi Steven,

That's right but the original poster didn't make it clear the "news story" had been posted as a spoof on the spoof.com website which does have a clear notice also (just in case someone doesn't know the meaning of the word "spoof" ;) ) that everything on the website is fictitious. Of course that hasn't stopped speculation about Diana nee Spencer and the fatal car collision but she's dead and libel doesn't apply to dead people ...

Hi Baumski,

I think there is an argument (isn't there always!?) as well as to whether the ISP (Internet Service Provider) would be also responsible. This has come up with cases concerning mass spammers.

But does having a campaign really preclude eating curry? If I'd known that I'd never have signed those petitions ;)

Alice

Goldnutmeg
Yes thespoof does have a disclaimer, but they dont actually need one. I think they just stuck that up there just to be on the safe side.

Hi again Steven,

Yeh, I think with the web address thespoof.com if you're an English-speaker you know what you're getting.

But this is the worldwide web with many people being less than fluent English speakers, so I think they do have to put a disclaimer. It's not just an extra - it's needed especially where the Royals are concerned.

So it's not always so cut and dry. If you read a story alleging an American astronaut drove across the country to confront a love rival, while dressed in a nappy because she didn't want rest stops, you might think you'd hit upon a spoof site but it's a real news story. Whereas some spoof stories are more plausible!

Alice

Yes genuinely funny stuff Kent Pete. Shame ol' Eddie is defined by his sexuality but if he will stay so firmly in the closet he's gotta take what comes his way I suppose.

Share this page