British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 454

I only know of a few people who say SEM-ee. Most everyone says SEMM-eye. If you are talking of a not-quite-ready-for-fun penis, in my neck of the woods people tend to call it a chubby.

I believe the correct term is a "lard-on".

We also use stiffy sometimes. However, I am on the cusp of hillbilly country where the good old standby boner is used. Such class.

Quote: AndreaLynne @ July 3 2009, 1:24 AM BST

We also use stiffy sometimes. However, I am on the cusp of hillbilly country where the good old standby boner is used. Such class.

Hold on - "stiffy" and "boner" - this is still for a semi-erect penis? What in God's name do you call a full erect one?

Dad?

Careful...

Unfortunately, hillbillies in my area have very small vocabularies and no imagination. "Hard on" and "boner" are used for both stages of arousal. Now if they would just use contraception on whatever they call it, the hillbilly plague would be no more.

They hardly need contraception, do they? I've seen that documentary, Deliverance.

No we have a different brand of hillbillies. Ours are the white trash variety.

Which ones are more likely to try and sodomise you against your will? That's my chief concern.

As far as I know, we don't have many cases of that. If you're talking the white trash hillbillies, the worry is about your uncle or brother winking at you at the family reunion. Yuck.

TTPYO - Having to stay in for the delivery man.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ July 3 2009, 9:55 AM BST

TTPYO - Having to stay in for the delivery man.

Leave a note on the door asking them to leave the package with your noisy neighbours.

I can't. It's a massive mattress! I don't think they'd be happy with it taking up the front room. Plus I wouldn't trust my neighbours as far as I could throw them.

Quote: Leevil @ July 2 2009, 6:13 PM BST

What about when their talking about the not-so large penis?

they're*

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