Personally, I'd love to see a black/disabled/foreign comic come on stage and not talk about their particular minority group, not even once. Doesn't seem to happen very often.
Openly gay comics not referring to their gayness seem to be few and far between too. Even Stephen Fry's at it nowadays.
Any recommendations?
Subject to avoid for white thirty-something stand-ups: telling us they've just had a baby.
Australian stand-ups talking about how the English are so uptight, whilst Aussies are so laid back and like lager.
The differences between cats and dogs.
Female comics about liking chocolate.
Any gags that end in "and then I stabbed him/her/it"
Quote: NoggetFred @ June 28 2009, 5:43 PM BSTSubject to avoid for white thirty-something stand-ups: telling us they've just had a baby.
that's my best bit!
Quote: NoggetFred @ June 28 2009, 5:43 PM BSTSubject to avoid for white thirty-something stand-ups: telling us they've just had a baby.
This sentence also works without the word "stand-ups".
Haha!
As long as photos aren't involved at any point.
Ooh, a pink/brown characterless blob, nice.
Quote: Kevin Murphy @ June 28 2009, 6:13 PM BSTThis sentence also works without the word "stand-ups".
Or the word "white", for that matter.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ June 28 2009, 6:00 PM BSTAny gags that end in "and then I stabbed him/her/it"
For that matter - any punchline involving getting thrown out of a supermarket/bus for doing something appropriate (in pull back and reveal mode).
Well, which celebrity?
Don't be a cock tease.
Quote: zooo @ June 28 2009, 9:23 PM BSTWell, which celebrity?
Don't be a cock tease.
Judging by his avatar he looks quite like me.
Subjects I avoid: Trigonometry, mentalfundalism of any kind that involves killing in the name of peace, judiciary procedures of the USSR (1927-53), what I did last Summer (it could stand up in court, you know).
Don't confuse audience with a writers's eye. People remember the belly laughs. A general audience doesn't over-analyse and then declare the act was crap, despite making them laugh. Writers do that. A comedian who consciously avoids a big laugh? It's like a songwriter choosing the most obscure and unpleasant chord progression (even if it jars) just to demonstrate their musical acuity. Macca has used the same intuitive musical tricks for years and been a critical and popular success. He didn't shun the audience, he exploited them, if anything.
Quote: Griff @ June 28 2009, 9:26 PM BSTTo continue the cock tease metaphor, I think the etiquette here would be to let Antrax spill the beans, should he wish to.
I'll hold off, if that's ok! Like to maintain my anonymity...
And yeah, I can come across quite fractious online 
Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 10:26 PM BSTI'll hold off, if that's ok! Like to maintain my anonymity...
Consider my cock teased.
And I don't even have one.
Quote: SlagA @ June 28 2009, 10:19 PM BSTSubjects I avoid: Trigonometry
Just before she died, Farrah Fawcett was working on a new show about trigonometry.
It was going to be called - Charlie's Angles.
I thank you.
Quote: Antrax @ June 28 2009, 3:05 PM BSTIf you really do look like a celebrity to the degree that you can work out in advance that you might get heckled on it, isn't it better to come up with a killer heckler put-down to use on anyone who makes the comparison than merely use a lazy opener that follows a dull standard formula?
is a 'killer heckler put down' better than a 'lazy opener that follows a dull standard formula'
Seems self evident really, when you put it like that.
i understamd where you're coming from, but there's a number of factors at play here and you are making certain suppositions about what stand-up should be in order to be good.
you're supposing that a 'killer heckler put down' is automatically a good thing, but what if the person who heckles is being friendly? if you go in too hard on them you can lose the room and fook the night for everyone.
I don't think there's anything wrong with opening like that - I don't do it personally and never have - because it can warm an audience to you right away. It sets a certain tone for the act. it shows an element of self deprecation and that you don't take yourself too seriously.
Maybe that's why comics who take themselves far too seriously don't open with it.
I don't think any subject should be avoided. in fact picking a 'hack' subject and finding something new to say about it can be a beautiful thing.
i get where you're coming rom generally though.