Vox Pops - Rejected
What do you think of the new speaker of the house?
1) What does the speaker do anyway except shout people down... it's out of order. Right out of order!
2) They're saying Bercow's the first Jewish speaker, but what about Moses? He spoke Jewish.
3) If MPs were serious about reform, they wouldn't have picked one of their own to be speaker. They should have picked someone with experience of the real world, like a newspaper columnist or a TV personality.
4) Shoutin 'Order! Order!' all the time don't seem like much of a job to me. Do they want a speaker or a bouncer?
5) How do they know he won if it was a secret ballot? And how come they all knew when to turn up for the vote? Sounds like a fix to me, like 9/11 or Strictly Come Dancing.
6) GABBLING EAST END CABBIE: That Bercow's alright. Couldn't 'appen to a nicer fella. His dad was a taxi driver -- my old man knew 'im. I had that Michael Martin in the back of the cab once. Speaker of the 'ouse? Shouter of the 'ouse more like. Talk about a palaver! I couldn't get a word in edgeways. Left a nice tip, mind. Course it was on his expenses but it's more than you can say for some. It's not like the old days...(FADE)
7)I never even knew Ricky Martin was Speaker of the House until I heard he'd resigned.
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Apologies - Rejected
(1)
Newsjack would like to apologise for stating that Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva might be a gold digger. The couple have emphatically denied the allegation, though they do acknowledge that commuting back and forth from the Klondike might place a strain on the relationship.
(2)
A recent paper in the scientific journal Nature has shown that massive bodies might disrupt the solar system causing the earth to collide with mars. Newsjack would like to apologise for the malicious suggestion that John Prescott was the focus of the investigation.
(3)
Newsjack would like to apologise for reporting that Gordon Brown endured a hissy fit from the Queen following the departure of public relations representative Mr Simon Lewis from Buckingham Palace to the Prime Minister's office. The report should have stated that Mr Brown enjoyed tea and biscuits with the Queen. A mix-up during editing has been blamed for the error.
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Sketch - Rejected
The bit in the middle about the drone was deadweight here -- I reckoned they'd edit it out if they didn't like it but I probably should have cut it prior to submission.
MILES:The annual gathering of pagans and new age followers to mark the summer solstice took place over the weekend. With us on the line from Wiltshire is Newsjack's religious affairs correspondent Tony Jackson. Tony?
TONY
D) Sun-worshippers from all corners thronged here to Stonehenge in their tens of thousands for the solstice, Miles. It was like ancient Egypt, Torremolinos and your local tanning salon all rolled into one. We've had everyone from the kids of the Birkenhead Satanist Youth Group to the pensioners of the New Age Old Age Society here.
MILES:Can you tell us a little about the purpose of the gathering?
TONYD) Druids assemble here to perform religious rituals during the solstice. Of course the pagan druids seek to revive the ancient Celtic culture of Britain although suggestions of a dissident republican terrorist connection (BEAT) have not been confirmed by Police at this stage.
MILES
o the police have dismissed any suggestion of terrorism?
TONYD) They haven't confirmed it at this stage, Miles. That's different.
MILES:I understand the police employed an unmanned aerial drone during the operation. What's the purpose of this?
TONYD) Security sources have indicated this kind of drone is normally employed when a surface-to-air missile threat is expected, though police have not confirmed the use of surface-to-air missiles at this stage.
MILES
olice dogs, mounted police, surveillance drones... Haven't the police gone a little over the top with their security for this event?
TONYD) Wiltshire police have their resources stretched to the limit during the solstice and need to make use of every asset they posses, Miles. Valuable manpower had to be diverted to other urgent policing needs. For example, a heavy police presence was required to keep order at a bouncy castle in Chippenham, and a garden fete at Lopcombe Corner threatened to turn violent.
MILES:Isn't there a risk sensationalist reporting and heavy-handed policing might prove counter-productive?
TONYD) There have been over thirty drug-related arrests here and if you'd seen what I've seen you'd agree that's not nearly enough. Incidents of violence, folk dancing and even cannibalism have been reported.
MILES:Have the police confirmed these reports?
TONYD) Um...
MILES:Not at this stage?
TONYD) Not at this stage, Miles, no.
