Difficulty with writing

I've been working pretty hard on stand-up the past few days and posted some of my stuff in the critique forum. I have this one story and I am really struggling on figuring out how I'm going to go about locating the gags and exploiting them. I'll say the story.. and see what you guys think... I'm suffering epic writers block.

Last week.. I was erm.. "alone" with my computer in my room.. completely starkers with the door locked. I was watching some "videos" and doing as all young lads do when bored... I heard a noise and completely ignored it.. five minutes later I looked up to see it was the window cleaner (i'm on a top floor) was outside looking in.. half laughing, half disgusted... I walked over and closed the curtains and was crying with laughter as I did it.

This is writers gold... and yet I can only figure out my closing gag...

"strange thing is that I've had my windows cleaned six times this week...."

Any advice?

Although it's a true story, it would probably sound very cliched if you wrote it.

Mind you, here's a punchline idea:

To the window cleaner. "You're keen, pal. This is the 52nd floor."

What I think you should do it this:

You're alone.
Then the Avon lady comes round.
You invite her in and nob her.
Then a female from the gas board comes round to read your meter.
You invite her in and nob her and the Avon lady together.
It's at that point when you all notice the window cleaner.

Actually... maybe not... it all sounds like a porn movie.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ June 23 2009, 12:38 AM BST

Although it's a true story, it would probably sound very cliched if you wrote it.

Mind you, here's a punchline idea:

To the window cleaner. "You're keen, pal. This is the 52nd floor."

What I think you should do it this:

You're alone.
Then the Avon lady comes round.
You invite her in and nob her.
Then a female from the gas board comes round to read your meter.
You invite her in and nob her and the Avon lady together.
It's at that point when you all notice the window cleaner.

Actually... maybe not... it all sounds like a porn movie.

View original

I know you say you can turn your hand to anything (as does Norm going by the story above), but I didn't know you did porn scripts too

heh heh.

Actually, the one with the Avon lady has already been done.

Ironically eough, it was the very "video" he was watching on his computer at the time.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ June 23 2009, 12:38 AM BST

To the window cleaner. "You're keen, pal. This is the 52nd floor."

View original

For that he would probably need a big erection.

What if the postman joins them. "I don't usually come this far up"

You sure he wasn't just the "Windows" cleaner there to "wipe clean" your screen?

badoom-tisch!

Is it possible he could have seen your screen if he looked really hard?

*borrows Rob's drumkit*

I think Mikey is right. It would sound a little cliched and I would be surprised if something similar hasn't already been done by a well known comedian.

Best of luck Norm.

I got a block a few weeks back and when it cleared I realised what was going on.

Words like 'important' or 'urgent' don't go well with comedy writing. If it's no fun, you're likely to start worrying which will only compound the problem.

For stand up, it's important to find your own voice, IMO. If a joke isn't 'you' it probably won't work well no matter how funny it is in print. If you relax, lighten up, don't try *too* hard, and stay natural then the block will clear.

Quote: Norm @ June 22 2009, 11:13 PM BST

This is writers gold... and yet I can only figure out my closing gag...

View original

Right.

Quote: Marc P @ June 23 2009, 4:32 PM BST

Right.

View original

You've changed Marc.

Oh, I read it wrong.
I thought it was:

This is writers gold... and yet I cannot figure out my closing gag...

Trouble is, real-life anecdotes are great to tell down the pub, but rarely transform well into a script.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ June 23 2009, 4:51 PM BST

Oh, I read it wrong.
I thought it was:

This is writers gold... and yet I cannot figure out my closing gag...

View original

Liar! you just wanted to tell everyone about you and the Avon lady!

OK, OK! Don't forget the meter reading girl too. Lovely Rita, her name was!

Quote: Craig H @ June 23 2009, 4:51 PM BST

You've changed Marc.

View original

Changed what?

We have an Avon Man... and he aint very attractive...

But I suppose... I'll have to bum him................ for comedy!