Quote: don rushmore @ June 20 2009, 9:03 PM BSTNo problem, pal. Just make sure you wear your little hat.
What just the hat? Kinky!
Back to Class - Thank You For The Music Page 3
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Quote: James Cotter @ June 20 2009, 8:40 PM BST20% of the episode is not spent giving a voice over intro it's less then that and yes we do need to spend some time in dispensing who these characters are because this is a pilot episode for a purposed series of six.
Youtube has a neato timer at the bottom. 5 minute episode 1 minute intro=20% introduction.
And name one sitcom that needed a spoon fed intro?
Quote: don rushmore @ June 20 2009, 8:56 PM BSTI'd quite happily shag you. <3
James, Don is right. It is hard to hear, but it is true.
You have worked hard and nobody can deny that, but this is what you put it onto critique for.
Quote: James Cotter @ June 20 2009, 8:40 PM BSTThe two characters are not meant to interact, that was a deliberate decision taken by us the writers. We decided to do this because I have never seen this done in a sitcom and because there is a tenuous storyline thought out the first series. If you do not like that then your be pleased to know in the second series they interact a lot more.
Then who the hell do they interract with? Sitcom is all about character and interaction. Unless this is some eccentric example of supposedly comedic Noe theatre?
Quote: James Cotter @ June 20 2009, 8:40 PM BSTBoth Keith and Mark are far from one dimensional. We don't just spend the whole episode dealing out pointless one-liners that are detached from the characters own personalities. There are emotional points in the show and elements of drama which we will explore in greater detail in the series which make there fully fledged individuals.
Niether do most good sitcoms they have character and situational humour. This is just a bloke pretending he's in the army and shouting and a rather generic cliche.
Emotional points where?
Might I suggest you get the script critiqued before filming in future.
Sooty - you haven't gone green as well have you?
Quote: James Cotter @ June 20 2009, 8:40 PM BSTand yes we do need to spend some time in dispensing who these characters are because this is a pilot episode for a purposed series of six.
James, will try and watch this later, but the statement above about having to dispense character because it's a pilot isn't true.
A perfect example of a pilot (I'm harping on about my fave pilot once again 
) is Frasier. It hits the ground running, with no obvious need to dispense character detail. The moment you meet the characters they inform you what they're about by their actions, mannerisms, dialogue. Niles has hardly spoken before you know he's as anally retentive as a black hole, with the little gesture of wiping down the cafe seat with his hanky. It's a moment of sheer genius.
Other good exampes are Fawlty Towers (It starts with an argument and Basil cowing from Sybil) and Red Dwarf (Rimmer being picky over nozzle cleaners). They tell you the relationships instantly.
Quote: bigfella @ June 20 2009, 9:30 PM BSTSooty - you haven't gone green as well have you?
Honestly I'm trying to be helpful, if a bit passionate.
Quote: sootyj @ June 20 2009, 9:59 PM BSTHonestly I'm trying to be helpful, if a bit passionate.
No,that's fine I've just never seen you ang....passionate!
Quote: James Cotter @ June 20 2009, 8:40 PM BSTThe two characters are not meant to interact, that was a deliberate decision taken by us the writers. We decided to do this because I have never seen this done in a sitcom.
Possibly a reason for that, but if you want to see how it can be done try Love Soup.
Both Keith and Mark are far from one dimensional. We don't just spend the whole episode dealing out pointless one-liners that are detached from the characters own personalities. There are emotional points in the show and elements of drama which we will explore in greater detail in the series which make there fully fledged individuals.
It is fine to answer criticisms in Critique, but you should support your assertions. How are they not one dimensional - and if you are putting the episode up as a work in its own right, you cannot do so by reference to material that has not been seen. For what it is worth I thought the musician character had potential, but the soldier-guy struck me as one-joke silly. Also I could not understand what he was doing there. I had thought the set up was a school of the performing arts, not a WWII concert party. (You are probably too young to remember It Aint Half Hot Mum).
And seriously, who on here in any way implied that you should be "dealing out pointless one-liners that are detached from the characters personalities"? I think I commented on an absence of gags, but if you think that is what a gag is in the context of sitcom you have misunderstood the genre.
I am aware that the voiceover needs some work
Actually I don't seem to have disliked the voiceover as much as others seem to. Certainly it did not register with me as one of the principal problems.
On the whole I think Fred's review is the one you should be taking most notice of.
Stewie and Brian in Family Guy is a top notch example of how to have 2 sets of characters who never interact. No one other than Brian talks to Stewie but Bridge is a bridge to the rest of the characters.
Quote: sootyj @ June 20 2009, 9:08 PM BSTYoutube has a neato timer at the bottom. 5 minute episode 1 minute intro=20% introduction.
And name one sitcom that needed a spoon fed intro?
You find it's more like 10% because the episode is 12 minutes long. There's two parts but it's the same episode. Fair enough there is properly too much intro but it is meant to be a mockumentary in the style of 'That Peter Kay Thing' and have you ever seen the voice over induction on the episode entitled 'Eyes Down'?
Eyes down? Nope.
That Peter Kaye thing uses the intros as a very neat counterpoint gag.
e.g. it says one thing the joke is the character does another.
Quote: Scottidog @ June 20 2009, 9:08 PM BST
James, Don is right. It is hard to hear, but it is true.
You have worked hard and nobody can deny that, but this is what you put it onto critique for.
I'm glad that it's going through the mill on here because I knew this would be the bear pit and it's good to hear actually opinions rather then "it was funny mate".
N.B. a practical suggestion. If the joke is 2 separate teachers who never speak but teach the class.
Why not make a couple of the pupils more central so the joke becomes reflected in how they respond to the teachers?
Quote: SlagA @ June 20 2009, 9:51 PM BSTJames, will try and watch this later, but the statement above about having to dispense character because it's a pilot isn't true.
A perfect example of a pilot (I'm harping on about my fave pilot once again
Other good exampes are Fawlty Towers (It starts with an argument and Basil cowing from Sybil) and Red Dwarf (Rimmer being picky over nozzle cleaners). They tell you the relationships instantly.
It's a mockumentary and that's what mockumentaries do use voice over to dispense sometimes needless information. Have you documentaries like Airport and Life of Grime they have these type of voiceovers.
I know what you mean about getting straight into the action this something we will do in episode one in the TV version. Hope you enjoy it.
Quote: sootyj @ June 20 2009, 11:24 PM BSTN.B. a practical suggestion. If the joke is 2 separate teachers who never speak but teach the class.
Why not make a couple of the pupils more central so the joke becomes reflected in how they respond to the teachers?
The joke isn't that but I get your point and we want to make a few students good characters too.
The joke is both teachers have completely different attitudes to life and teaching. Keith is to caught up with his album to care about students and Mark tries his best but he can't escape the army way of life because it haunts him.