Whenever a friend succeeds...

'Whenever a friend succeeds a little piece of me dies'
Gore Vidal

Does anyone admit to having this feeling? Does anyone (like me) identify with the guy Morrissey's slating in We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful?

Does one bit of us feel pleased for them? One bit resentful, jealous and bitter? And a further bit guilty for thinking these negative thoughts?

Perhaps the only way not to feel this way is not to have any friends, whose successes can affect you? I manage to combine not only "dying" when friends have success, but also when relative strangers do. This is probably not healthy.

Conversely, does anyone admit to secretly delighting in a (supposed) friend's failure?

Quote: Tim Walker @ June 18 2009, 11:01 AM BST

Conversely, does anyone admit to secretly delighting in a (supposed) friend's failure?

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Schadenfraude. Nothing new there.

Quote: Griff @ June 18 2009, 11:02 AM BST

We all wish you the very best in your career, Tim.

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A little bit of me doesn't die but you cannot help but... Yeah actually a little bit of you does die.

But so few people actually make it in this industry that there's plenty of other people's failure to cheer you up.

A friend of mine 'succeeded', then introduced me to an agent who got me loads of comedy writing work. If he hadn't, a big piece (if not, all) of the f**ker would have died.

I was going to say no but then I thought about one friend who I graduated with who went on to be a very successful graphic designer. It wasn't a feeling of jealousy because I didn't want her job, it was a feeling of annoyance for some reason.
I think that makes me a bad person. I'm not sure.

Quote: Curt @ June 18 2009, 12:55 PM BST

I think that makes me a bad person. I'm not sure.

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Assuming you were not a bad person in the first place.

Quote: Tim Walker @ June 18 2009, 11:01 AM BST

Conversely, does anyone admit to secretly delighting in a (supposed) friend's failure?

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Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Quote: EllieJP @ June 18 2009, 1:13 PM BST

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

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That's all very nice, Ellie, but 1) Wind Beneath My Wings is shit, and 2) It's really a self-congratulating song with the singer pretending to be modest, but actually thinking her/himself pretty great. If this "hero" they are talking about is so bloody wonderful and hidden from the limelight, the singer could at least give them a chance to get a word in edgeways in their bloody song.

This song makes me laugh for that reason. She's all "I'm all so great, and you were the loser stood behind"... it's like the Queen and her Hubby.

Quote: EllieJP @ June 18 2009, 1:25 PM BST

This song makes me laugh for that reason. She's all "I'm all so great, and you were the loser stood behind"... it's like the Queen and her Hubby.

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Apologies, I saw a red mist over this bloody song and posted before re-reading and recognising the point you were making!

And in Beaches, all I would say that it's very easy to pretend to big-up your mate when she's terminally ill.

Quote: Tim Walker @ June 18 2009, 1:28 PM BST

Apologies, I saw a red mist over this bloody song and posted before re-reading and recognising the point you were making!

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Sorry, should have explained myself before.

Personally I suspected Debra Winger's character of faking her death just as an excuse to get away from her bloody "friend" Streisand.

Middler?