This is set to be an on-stage skit and, being relatively new to this I should apologise for its smarminess, this being my first posting.
THE PROMOTION
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
Sound of plate clatter and murmuring chatter over lounge jazz.
WILL and STUART sit at a table quietly waiting for their meal.
The WAITER brings their starters in a silver platter as he turns to the audience with a wink.
WAITER: The promotion.
He takes the silver platters up to the table placing them down in front of them both.
WAITER (CONT'D): Here are the jokes you ordered sirs.
Lifting his lid Will looks at the meal then up at the waiter.
WILL: They're a bit overdone are they not? Besides, we asked for cod.
The waiter looks at them both apologetically before removing the trays.
WAITER: Do forgive me.
Walking back the waiter stops midway turning to address the audience once again.
WAITER (CONT'D): The thing is, that gentleman who just spoke believes he is on a business lunch with a colleague who he is planning to promote.
Beat.
WAITER (CONT'D): But here's the rub, that colleague is in actual fact, wait for it, gay and believes this to be a date...enjoy!
With a smile he walks off leaving them both to it.
Will turns to Stuart with a smile.
WILL: I've been admiring your work for some time now.
Stuart smiles bashfully.
STUART: And I yours.
Stuart starts to refill his glass of wine and turns to fill Will's which is almost still full as Will raises an eyebrow.
WILL: I appreciate the what you've been doing but it's high time I give you some more responsibility.
Stuart looks a little flustered.
STUART: Oh my.
WILL: It's high time you were in a position of equal responsibility, not one so passive to my demands.
Stuart tugs at his collar, a little more hot and flustered now.
STUART: If you say so.
Will begins to laugh politely.
WILL: But of course, I don't want you taking my position.
They both begin to laugh now, Stuart more nervously as the waiter begins to walk back with their orders.
STUART: Ooh, I like a firm hand.
The waiter places their orders down on the table.
WAITER: Your cod sirs.
They both nod politely as the waiter leaves and they begin their meal.
They are both about to eat a bit of cod as Stuart speaks.
STUART: It's funny I never figured you were gay.
A look of realisation spreads across Will's face as he swallows his food with a loud gulp.
An awkward silence falls as Stuart continues eating oblivious to this.
Silence interrupted, there's suddenly a loud bang as the CHEF crashes in dressed all in white uniform with a large hat.
CHEF: EVERYTHING IN THE KITCHEN'S OUT OF DATE!
Dropping their cutlery Will and Stuart look down at their meals, then at each other.
Suddenly their's a low rumbling sound as they both grab their stomachs.
First one to go, Will vomits all over the table then, seeing this, Stuart quickly follows.
Sick goes everywhere across the table and each other as the chef scarpers.
The waiter comes back turning once again to address the audience with a smile, the vomiting two behind him.
WAITER: It's just a shame they didn't get to deserts.
END
I also thought their could be a corny laughter track so as to overstate it all. I dunno though as it's pretty ropey at the mo'. I'll appreciate any comments and will be eternally grateful. Though thanks a lot if you've made it this far which is a pretty mean feat either way 
