Have A Nice Day

Something stupid. Probably going to regret posting it.

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INT. BURGER JOINT. DAY

A MAN buys a burger from a GIRL.

GIRL
And there's your change. Have a nice day.

MAN
"Have a nice day"? Where do you think we are, America?

GIRL
Sorry, it's our new company sales policy. I ask every customer to have a nice day and if they do I get a commission.

MAN (PUZZLED)
A commission? What kind of commission?

GIRL
Five percent.

MAN
Five percent of what?

GIRL
A nice day.

MAN
So you get… one hour and twelve minutes of happiness, as long as I have a nice day?

GIRL
Yeah.

MAN
That's just weird.

MAN LEAVES BURGER JOINT AND IS IMMEDIATELY HIT BY A LORRY.

GIRL WEEPS SOFTLY.

Well written and nicely paced. A cracking little effort.

I look forward to reading more of your work!

Very nice, but rather than "That's just weird", I would have gone with something like, "Er...right" - don't spell it out.

I really like this one - just as it is.

What a lovely idea too - like Pay it Forward.

Aren't burger based sketches a little cheesey?

Quote: Marc P @ June 15 2009, 8:15 PM BST

Aren't burger based sketches a little cheesey?

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Marc, I really think you need a sound effect after some of your posts. Maybe something like:

http://www.productiontrax.com/trackpage.php?id=10430

Perhaps with a different voiceover - This is Marc P joke preview.

(If that link doesn't work just ignore me - or do so anyway)

Jx

Quote: Marc P @ June 15 2009, 8:15 PM BST

Aren't burger based sketches a little cheesey?

View original

This one is bunny.

I liked this, but then as a fan of sketches that end in either a death or crying, this one came on a silver platter.

Enjoyed it. Plus:

GIRL: (WEEPING SOFTLY) Missing you already...

Which would be nice.

A nice effort there Mr Murphy!

Quote: Morrace @ June 16 2009, 11:33 AM BST

Enjoyed it. Plus:

GIRL: (WEEPING SOFTLY) Missing you already...

Which would be nice.

View original

Ooh, I like that. I may have to steal it.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ June 16 2009, 1:37 PM BST

Ooh, I like that. I may have to steal it.

View original

It's yours. No problem! Good luck with it!

You had me at "something stupid".

Mad, Brilliant, Stupid, Hilarious.

That worked for me. With Morrace's ending, it's complete. Great work guys.

Agree with other posters, very good.