Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 4:06 PM BSTHe says it's just that he wants to say the right thing, and that the time passes before he could have said it.
He worries so much about saying the wrong thing it makes arguments impossible.
A while.
I wonder if something in the past has caused him to feel this way.... 
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 4:06 PM BSTHe says it's just that he wants to say the right thing, and that the time passes before he could have said it.
He worries so much about saying the wrong thing it makes arguments impossible.
A while.
Oh, bit weird. So he's lacking in confidence then?
Quote: Seefacts @ June 10 2009, 4:01 PM BSTWe broke up four weeks ago.
I'm really sorry.
Quote: Seefacts @ June 10 2009, 4:05 PM BSTThat he holds you back?
Well, respect his honesty there. My ex-gf wouldn't admit it, but I kept telling her there was more out there than having to be saddled with me.
Some people don't like to talk, it's the way it is sadly.
Forgive me for sticking my oar in, but maybe she was telling the truth. My ex was really very quiet (I'm not) and it didn't bother me. What did bother me was her continually telling me that it bothered me, and that she wasn't good enough for me. Still, it's a year since she went off with someone a quiet as she is and I can laugh about it now. 
Quote: Seefacts @ June 10 2009, 4:05 PM BST.
Some people don't like to talk, it's the way it is sadly.
I appreciate that.
Ellie, it strikes me that you're searching for reasons to make a problem and to object to, and making a big issue out of nothing. So he's quiet, big deal. If people really do think that being quiet is rude, they deserve pity. He's a teacher, right? Around screaming kids all day? Ever think that perhaps he just wants to have some peace and time to himself?
I find it really strange that actors can be so shy.
But anyway, shyness isn't something that needs to be cured, or got rid of, it's just a personality trait, which is equally as valid as being an extrovert.
I think you said earlier you don't necessarily want to have to change him though, you just think that the fact he'll never change might be a problem.
So.... I suppose you have to figure out a way to be okay with the fact that he's like that.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ June 10 2009, 4:07 PM BSTI wonder if something in the past has caused him to feel this way....
I thought that, all his family are pretty sociable though. He did say he had confidence issues.
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 4:09 PM BSTI'm really sorry.
Thanks. Iffy aspects of relationships are shitty, aren't they?
What I have learnt recently is if things aren't right, then that's just the way it goes - in my view. There's little you can do.
Quote: zooo @ June 10 2009, 4:10 PM BSTI find it really strange that actors can be so shy.
But anyway, shyness isn't something that needs to be cured, or got rid of, it's just a personality trait, which is equally as valid as being an extrovert.
I think you said earlier you don't necessarily want to have to change him though, you just think that the fact he'll never change might be a problem.So.... I suppose you have to figure out a way to be okay with the fact that he's like that.
Nail on the head there Zooo.
I don't want him to change... that's him. I love him.
I want to be okay with it. I really do, but I can't. I find it an issue, and worry that it's an issue for him the other way round. I admit, I'm loud and brash and extremely confident... and that can be percieved as rude too.
Quote: zooo @ June 10 2009, 4:10 PM BSTI find it really strange that actors can be so shy.
But anyway, shyness isn't something that needs to be cured, or got rid of, it's just a personality trait, which is equally as valid as being an extrovert.
I think you said earlier you don't necessarily want to have to change him though, you just think that the fact he'll never change might be a problem.So.... I suppose you have to figure out a way to be okay with the fact that he's like that.
But being an extrovert and chatty is always thought of as good, whereas shy is shit.
For me, it's the other way round.
Those bloody OTT chatty people boring me and getting on my nerves.
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 4:04 PM BSTI appreciate he finds it difficult, but he's quiet around my friends who he's met so many times.
Then it's not about nerves. It's that he's an observer, and would rather be approached than jump right into it. The fact he's there at all is an indication that he's not just rude.
Quote: Aaron @ June 10 2009, 4:10 PM BST. He's a teacher, right? Around screaming kids all day? Ever think that perhaps he just wants to have some peace and time to himself?
He's an accountant working in an office with one other person...
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 4:06 PM BSTHe worries so much about saying the wrong thing it makes arguments impossible.
A woman complaining that she doesn't argue with her partner. Rare, but not unheard of.
Quote: Seefacts @ June 10 2009, 4:13 PM BSTBut being an extrovert and chatty is always thought of as good, whereas shy is shit.
For me, it's the other way round.
Those bloody OTT chatty people boring me and getting on my nerves.
You've met me Seefacts... did I get on your nerves?
Going to regret this one.
Quote: Aaron @ June 10 2009, 4:14 PM BSTA woman complaining that she doesn't argue with her partner. Rare, but not unheard of.
No, it's not that. I don't mean arguments, but discussions. He worries about upsetting me.