British Comedy Guide

Teachers

INT. CLASSROOM. DAY.

A SMART TEACHER IS STANDING AT THE WHITE BOARD, DRAWING A COMPLICATED EQUATION.

TEACHER
... and as you can see that gives you a result of 2.42

PUPIL #1
What does that mean?

TEACHER
I'm sorry?

PUPIL #2
Are sausages rolls gonna be 2p cheaper?

PUPIL #3
Does it mean that water levels have risen?

TEACHER
... it's not that simple...

PUPIL #1
What are the practical applications of this sir?

PUPIL #3
Where do you use it on a daily basis?

THE REST OF THE PUPILS ARE JOINING THE DISENT AND BARRACKING. THE TEACHER IS LOOKING A BIT SCARED.

PUPIL #2
What if I don't even like sausage rolls?

PUPIL #1
What is the point of it? What are you trying to prove?

THE TEACHER PANICS AND JUMPS THROUGH A NEARBY WINDOW. THE PUPILS LOOK SHOCKED. WE HEAR HIS RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, FOLLOWED BY A CAR SPEEDING AWAY, AND EVENTUALLY A PLANE TAKING OFF. THE PUPILS LOOK SHOCKED, PUPIL #1 GOES UP TO THE WINDOW AND LOOKS OUT.

SITTING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW IS THE TEACHER EATING A SANDWICH, BESIDE HIM IS A STEREO WITH A CD CASE LYING NEARBY READING '101 ESCAPE SFX'.

HE NOTICES THE PUPIL AND RUNS OFF WITH STEREO ROUND THE CORNER, WE HEAR THE SAME SEQUENCE OF FX.

PUPIL #1
Sir, I can see your feet.

END

This is a work in progress based on something me and Rube talked about, does it go on to long? Should it just go?

Thanks

I like it, it definitely needs the second 'run way' and the "I can see your feet Sir!" for it to be funny though. Yeah I changed the line, I prefer it that way. :D

Perfect as it is, it's an absolutely perfect antijoke sketch.

Lot's of weird imagery mixed in with the familiar and a lovely little punch as well. Don't go changing this.

"AND EVENTUALLY A PLANE TAKING OFF. "

If it was visual then I'd keep this, as that usually looks funny &
works well.
But as it's just a sound effect in this case, I think it may be uneccessary.

Very good. :)

I don't think it needs changing either.

Jx

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 9 2009, 9:20 PM BST

I like it, it definitely needs the second 'run way' and the "I can see your feet Sir!" for it to be funny though. Yeah I changed the line, I prefer it that way. :D

It IS better damn you :D. Thanks.

Quote: sootyj @ June 9 2009, 9:37 PM BST

Perfect as it is, it's an absolutely perfect antijoke sketch.

Lot's of weird imagery mixed in with the familiar and a lovely little punch as well. Don't go changing this.

Thanks Joel, I have finally done a sketch you liked :) Thanks for your kind comments.

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ June 9 2009, 9:49 PM BST

"AND EVENTUALLY A PLANE TAKING OFF. "

If it was visual then I'd keep this, as that usually looks funny &
works well.
But as it's just a sound effect in this case, I think it may be uneccessary.

Hmmm... thinking I might be able to do a second one with a projector, that might work. Thanks Fred.

Quote: Jane P @ June 9 2009, 10:19 PM BST

Very good. :)

I don't think it needs changing either.

Jx

Cheer Jane.

Quote: dannyjb1 @ June 10 2009, 8:09 AM BST

It IS better damn you :D. Thanks.

:D

Laughing out loud Nice one Danny, really like this.

"AND EVENTUALLY A PLANE TAKING OFF. "

I'm thinking Big Train with the boss avoiding his staff.

Good one. Laughing out loud

Hey I like lot's of your stuff!

Very good.

I like this a lot. Excellent idea. Nice 1 Daniel :D

Nice one Danny.

This material could work well as an antithesis to the current advertising campaign for teachers ["You could earn 35k per year" etc.]

I echo the well dones. :)

Quote: Craig H @ June 10 2009, 10:54 AM BST

Laughing out loud Nice one Danny, really like this.

"AND EVENTUALLY A PLANE TAKING OFF. "

I'm thinking Big Train with the boss avoiding his staff.

Yeah that immediatly sprang to mind when I wrote it, hoped I managed to make it suitably different. And thanks for the kind comments.

Quote: Loopey @ June 10 2009, 6:48 PM BST

Good one. Laughing out loud

Thanks :D

Quote: Timbo @ June 10 2009, 7:13 PM BST

Very good.

Cheers Timbo

Quote: sootyj @ June 10 2009, 6:53 PM BST

Hey I like lot's of your stuff!

HeHe... Thanks... just remember your scathing review of my Tiger script (Note: Tounge firmly in cheek).

Quote: Otterfox @ June 11 2009, 8:35 AM BST

I like this a lot. Excellent idea. Nice 1 Daniel :D

Cheers mate, loving your new YouTube stuff.

Quote: Geoff Mutton @ June 11 2009, 11:57 AM BST

Nice one Danny.

This material could work well as an antithesis to the current advertising campaign for teachers ["You could earn 35k per year" etc.

Yeah it was sort of based on an actual lesson in Quantatative Methods and a telephone conversation with Ruby as I said... which always seems to take a bizarre turn :)

Thanks for comments.

Quote: SlagA @ June 11 2009, 1:49 PM BST

I echo the well dones. :)

Again I say thank you for comments.

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