(Simon Cowell) That was dreadful you can't do that in front of the queen.
The good news is the guy in the next bed lost his left leg, so you'll be saving 50% on shoes.
Life as a woman can be fascinating.
Well who'd have thought it you were pregnant, it's sextuplets.
I don't care we've still got a lot to learn from anal probes.
This train is now none stop to Wales.
Hi I'm Danny La Rue, how did you get in my coffin big boy?
Hi I'm Gordon welcome to my cabinet.
1.
Don't make a f**king move,If you scream you die.
I know it's the middle of the inght but you are not dreaming.
Now get out of bed, touch your toes and cuff your hands to the leg of the bed.
SFX Spit...
2.
Gruff male voice:
You see what happens to silly boys who try and run from my cab...
Now...about the tip.
3.
Gut Morgen....Zis is Radio Deutschland...now back to ze longest running radio prgramme in History...The Goebbels Breakvast Show..
4.
Oooh, sleepy hangover head's awake at last...you are such a good boy Tony....your Grandfather would be so proud of you.
5.
Hi, I'm Nicky Campbell.
Neigh.
Your 'special' song ... and the roar of a furnace.
Well, one of us wet the bed.
Oh bugger, more rohipnol.
"Stay completely still - it will only strike if it feels threatened."
Quote: Timbo @ June 4 2009, 1:27 PM BST"Stay completely still - it will only strike if it feels threatened."
Haha!
Well, I can certainly see why my daughter wants to marry you now.
"...and now the scalpel please, sister."
Well the Priory's full so this one's going in with Susan Boyle or Gazza.
"I'm afraid we were a bit careless - but don't worry, I know you'll make a great dad... what was your name again?"
1) Two Flatmates
"Wow, what happened?"
"You took the Rohipnol instead of the paracetemol"
"Any Side effects"
"You'll probably still have a headache, and maybe a saw bum too!"
2) . . . Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust . .
3) Good Morning and Welcome to GMTV
He's a wakin' Otis....can I have him now? Purleeze Otis...lemme have him?
S'all yours Seth.
Mr Guttenberg... Mr Guttenberg! No, it wasn't all a dream.
4) and so long as he keeps his legs crossed, it won't fall off
5) I never thought we would be more than just mates! You wait till I tell the other boys down the Rugby Club
6) anyway, he's asleep now. So I just told him it happens to everyone and I finished myself off while thinking about his brother