Barry blows it.

Please let me know if anything mildly amusing has come out of my boredom...

INT NIGHTCLUB NIGHT

BARRY AND JULIE ARE DANCING TOGETHER ON A CROWDED DANCEFLOOR.

BARRY:
So do you want to come back to mine then?

JULIE:
Oooh what for? ...Cheeky.

BARRY:
(PUTS ON GERMAN ACCENT) I have something very interesting to show you. Ve have vays of making you come you know.

JULIE:
Alright then. (GIGGLES)

CUT TO

INT BARRYS FRONT ROOM NIGHT

BARRY SHOWS JULIE A LARGE DISPLAY CASE

BARRY:
This is my collection of tape worm; I told you I had something interesting to show you.

JULIE:
Tape worm...yes. What about the sex?

BARRY:
That's very interesting Julie, they're actually hermaphrodites whilst engaging in reproduction.

JULIE:
That's not what I...Forget it, bye.

JULIE EXITS

END

There's a good sketch here but I think you need a bit more work on it. The punch isn't so good and I could have done with maybe more of him not taking the hint and spouting more inane info on the tapeworm. It's a funny situation - I just think you could milk it a bit more. The German accent bit is a bit of a distraction also - is it relevant? Definitely one to work on.

Bo.

Quote: Bohannon @ June 3 2009, 7:58 PM BST

There's a good sketch here but I think you need a bit more work on it. The punch isn't so good and I could have done with maybe more of him not taking the hint and spouting more inane info on the tapeworm. It's a funny situation - I just think you could milk it a bit more. The German accent bit is a bit of a distraction also - is it relevant? Definitely one to work on.

Bo.

View original

Thanks Bo. You're right, was a tad rushed.