British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 714

Quote: PhQnix @ June 1 2009, 7:29 AM BST

Oh we can handle it DaButt. We can handle any weather. We handle it by complaining voiceforously about it, however.

In the Orkney Islands [Northernmost part of Scotland] when they talk of the weather, they are not talking about sun or rain, those are irrelevant, its either raining or it is not:So what!

Weather there relates only to the WIND!

Quote: Rob H @ June 1 2009, 12:43 PM BST

Is wondering what the proper Stag-do etiquette is when the best man hires a 'stripper' who is actually just a woman who takes their clothes off and tortures the groom.

The best man bones her good and proper afterwards?

Quote: Aaron @ June 1 2009, 12:55 PM BST

The best man bones her good and proper afterwards?

It was like a cross between Striptease, Shrek and Saw. Or 'When Strippers go Bad' or something. How brutal does something have to be before you forget about the flame-thrower until you watch the video back?

*shudders*

What WAS this torture? :O

He was whipped on his arse. Didn't realised quite how bad until I saw the welts the next day. He then lost his anal virginity to the whip-handle. She sprayed him with aerosol before lighting it. And he has gouge-marks from her nails the length of his chest.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been laughing or assuming it was all just pretend. *hangs head in shame* *chuckles* *hangs head in shame* *chuckles* *hangs head in shame* *chuckles*...

Quote: Rob H @ June 1 2009, 1:03 PM BST

He was whipped on his arse. Didn't realised quite how bad until I saw the welts the next day. He then lost his anal virginity to the whip-handle. She sprayed him with aerosol before lighting it. And he has gouge-marks from her nails the length of his chest.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been laughing or assuming it was all just pretend. *hangs head in shame* *chuckles* *hangs head in shame* *chuckles* *hangs head in shame* *chuckles*...

Whistling nnocently Whistling nnocently ...*Snigger*

John Lucas says 'Good Afternoon'.

Curt says 'Good Morning'.

Good Morning, Curt.

Good Morning, John. :)

Is at a loss to why any mother would want to take children to the supermarket, what a bunch of rubbish little children. I never want one of them things.

She stuck something up his arse?
Jesus Christ. :O
Suuurely she was a specialist type of stripper. Did he hire one like that on purpose?

Quote: Darren Pomroy @ June 1 2009, 1:57 PM BST

Is at a loss to why any mother would want to take children to the supermarket, what a bunch of rubbish little children. I never want one of them things.

Well presumably it's still illegal to leave them home alone!

Quote: Rob H @ June 1 2009, 12:43 PM BST

Is wondering what the proper Stag-do etiquette is when the best man hires a 'stripper' who is actually just a woman who takes their clothes off and tortures the groom.

The correct etiquette is to treat the stripper element of the stag night with a knowing air of post-modern irony. That and ogle her tits.

I remember for a student friend's 21st birthday party (which was held in a pub), we hired a stripper for him. A specialist stripper - ie a 25+ stone male, who did indeed do a full strip, making our friend lick whipped cream from between his enormous buttocks. (Our friend had attended Eton and so in no way was going let down "the breed".)

Pay her, but stick the money up her arse.

Quote: zooo @ June 1 2009, 2:04 PM BST

Pay her, but stick the money up her arse.

Is that current feminist opinion? Or was it a compromise suggested by the late Andrea Dworkin?

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