British Comedy Guide

Please share your genuine ghost stories with us Page 4

When I was a child, I had a vague memory of waking up to man in my bed...

He had a very good singing voice and only wore one glove?

Bit strange.

I was speaking to a friend of mine (Danielle). She used to live in a farm house near Norfolk. One night when her dad was out at the pub, Dani was left in the house with her mum. Both were in bed. During the night Dani's mum was laying awake waiting for her husband to return from the pub, she then heard somebody walking up the stairs, she assumed it was her husband but thought it was strange as she didnt hear the back door close behind him. She stepped outside her room, she had her back to the stairs, she felt someone behind her, but she couldn't turn round, she was frozen, and physically couldn't turn round. She went back into her room.

An hour later her husband arrived back from the pub.

I forgot to add, the farmer who used to own the house hung himself several years earlier in one of the barns. An elderly man lives at the house now and talks to the dead farmer in the barn.

Quote: Mike Dan-Carter @ May 31 2009, 12:22 PM BST

She used to live near NORFOLK.

There's the keyword in that story. ;)

That story gave me goosebumps.

Quote: SlagA @ May 29 2009, 5:05 PM BST

You got off lucky Da Butt, my ex-girlfriend had sex with a ghost coz he vanished pretty quick when I walked in. :O

Funny you should mention that, I walked in on my wife and she was also having sex with a ghost. He was a muscular black man called Garfield and there was ectoplasm all over the sheets. He seemed so real, especially when he stood up, smiled, and wiped his ghostly cock on my curtains. Then he got dressed and drove off in his spirit van that had "Hot Ebony Escort Service" written on the side.

She's upstairs now with another ghost. He's called Sven and is taking her from behind whilst wearing my slippers.

Fascinating subject, the paranormal.

What has proved to me personally that life goes on after our physical body dies was a visit to a medium many years ago.

I was feeling depressed at the time, and went to a psychic fair thing with a friend. I only decided to get a reading on the spur of the moment, but the guy I saw was freakily spot on with so many things - things I never even knew at the time! Like he said there was a lady there who worked at a fish and chip shop when she was alive. She was telling me to go out and have some fun, and held up a pair of tap shoes to highlight the point.

Later that week I asked my dad if his mum had ever worked at a fish and chip shop. He said she'd worked part-time at a local chippy when he was growing up.

When I asked if she ever did any tap dancing my Dad laughed - 'You're joking - she used to have us all at it!' So I found out 2 things about my Nana which I never knew, from a total stranger!

Quote: Mike Dan-Carter @ May 31 2009, 12:22 PM BST

She used to live in a farm house near Norfolk.

When you say near Norfolk, do you mean it was in Suffolk?

He could mean on the border.

I have another:

My Uncle used to work at a Butchers back in the 1970's. He was working on his own one day. He had one customer in the shop that he was serving, there was an old man sitting down on a seat in the shop, waiting to be served. Once my Uncle had served the customer he turned his attention to the old man sitting on the seat, but he was no longer there. My Uncle was kind of baffled by this but just assumed he'd changed his mind and left the shop, albeit very quickly as my Uncle hadn't seen anyone leave. In the shop there were some swinging doors that seperated front of house from the stock room. These doors starting swinging behind my Uncle, on their own.

After a few seconds of confusion, my Uncle walked through the doors half expecting the man to be there, of course he wasn't, but my Uncle still protests to this day that he thinks the man got up off the seat and walked through the swinging doors.

Quote: Jacob Loves Comedy @ June 1 2009, 10:41 AM BST

He could mean on the border

Yes, the genetic border.

I know, it's a bit rich coming from a troglodyte Welsh thingummy. :)

Quote: Yellows 586 @ June 1 2009, 2:07 AM BST

When you say near Norfolk, do you mean it was in Suffolk?

No not in Suffolk. The farmhouse was, and still is, situated on the border of Norfolk and Suffolk. Near a small village called Ditchingham.

Ditchingham - Did I hear once it had the lowest relationship success rate in Britain?

I've never seen a ghost, though my mum, my nanny (granny), and my great-grandmother were all supposed to have seen things. I remember being uneasy in a couple of nanny's houses because they were supposed to be haunted.

Anyway, I was in the barber's shop a couple of weeks ago waiting to have my hair cut, and there was a woman there with one of her sons. She said that her other son was able to see ghosts - he would go into a room and would see people standing there. That would definitely scare the living wotsits out of me.

Quote: SlagA @ June 1 2009, 11:06 AM BST

Ditchingham - Did I hear once it had the lowest relationship success rate in Britain?

Ditchingham isn't where I live. That joke was crowbarred in somewhat, I suspect.

It was meant as a non-person specific joke, I just realised, so apols Mike. :$

Quote: SlagA @ June 1 2009, 11:34 AM BST

It was meant as a non-person specific joke, I just realised, so apols Mike. :$

Never apologise Slag. It's a sign of weakness. :)

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