Picard meets Kirk

CAPTAIN PICARD IS ON AN ALIEN PLANET, PHASER DRAWN HE ENTERS A SURPRISINGLY WELL LIT CAVE HE STEPS OVER A DEAD MAN IN A RED TOP AND SPIES THREE FIGURES AHEAD….

Picard:
I am Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. I'm looking for Captain James T Kirk!

Kirk:
I am Kirk, and I've got the hair to prove it. I am Also Captain of the Enterprise. How can this beee.

Picard:
No you're not, I've met Captain Kirk & he looks like TJ Hooker.

Spock:
If I may interject. This is indeed Captain Kirk, I surmise that you Sir, must be from the future and this is one of those time travel crossover ones. Why are you here Captain Picard, apart from perhaps lending a bit of Gravitas ?

Picard:
I'm here to teach the Kirk of the past the morality of the present so that he may be successful at the Box office of the future.

Spock:
Interesting, but as you know, Time travel poses many dangers. It's confusing for one thing & No'one really quite gets it. This could be very dangerous I advise that we should try to get to the end of this adventure as soon as possible, even me explaining it to you in this detail has lengthened the mission considerably.

Kirk:
Spock's right, we haven't got time for this, we can't get back to the enterprise & the planets teeming with those Klingon Bastards.

Picard:
Alas poor Kirk, you cannot say racist things like that anymore.

Kirk:
We neeed to obliterate their settlement, kill them all!

Picard:
Too Violent, you can wound one, but only in self defence.

Kirk:
Ok that leaves us with one option we must try to charm their women folk.

Picard:
Is this a Sexism charge I see before me?

Kirk: (DOES THAT HUNCHED SHOULDERS PLEADING ARMS THING)
We can't fight, we can't Love, what do you suggest we do?

Picard:
We orate, we talk our way out of trouble.

Kirk:
Sounds great honestly. Are you sure we're still popular in the future?

Picard:
And more politically correct than you could possibly imagine.
Now! let us make a speech that will bring our Klingon friends to their knees so that we can make peace with them, for all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players they have their - -

PICARD COLLAPSES AS SPOCK GIVES HIM A NERVE PINCH.

Spock:
It seemed the logical thing to do.

McCoy:
He's Dead boring Jim.

Kirk:
I couldn't agree more Bones. There's just one thing I want to know.

Spock:
Yes Captain?

Kirk:
What is a TJ Hooker & where can I get one?

There's some good lines in there but they get lost. It's a good idea and I liked the PC bits, could probably be cut by half, that would sharpen it up.

Pete

Cheers.
I expect if anyone reads it they'll say it's too long.

I am definitely going to try to cut things down from now on, ahem.
But I did want to put at least one Star Trek sketch up before I did.

It was okay Fred. You got it right though....too long.

If you keep the best lines in then it will work well.

I like the idea of Kirk trying to find a TJ Hooker! ( maybe Hooker's sidekick could add an apperance)

I wouldn't say it's overly long for the sketch concerning 3 central characters.

To me, it was more of a character sketch with the different dialogues suiting each one well.

Very clever and nicely in character dialogue, it did not feel too long to me.

Didn't feel too long to me but I think I preferred the earlier version you put up briefly the other day where Bones crops up at the end.

Quote: Badge @ May 29 2009, 10:50 PM BST

Didn't feel too long to me but I think I preferred the earlier version you put up briefly the other day where Bones crops up at the end.

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"I'm a Doctor not a Punchline Goddamit!"

I did quite like that ending, but as he hadn't popped up in the sketch beforehand I felt that it was a little shoe horned in.

Well spotted though, I didn't leave it up for long previously.