Racist for hire

A POLICE MAN IS SPEAKING TO BRIAN

POLICEMAN
You've made 200 racist phone calls, harrased 50 members of minorities and raised thousands of pounds for a racist orgainisation. Despite being a gentleman of African origin, why?

BRIAN
Well it's a job.

POLICEMAN
I beg your pardon? You've been racially harassing yourself and your fellow African emigree community as a job? Who paid you?

BRIAN
The National Front of Britain. They were having a recruitment crisis most of their members were; to illiterate to write threatening letters, to podgy to throw a brick through a window and didn't have the work ethic to stand in a town square on a rainy Wednesday being racist.

POLICEMAN
So they hired immigrants to be racist and threatening for them?

BRIAN
Well same principle as nursing, law and the royal family. We had to fire one Nigerian guy who was swinging the lead.

POLICEMAN
I can understand how he wouldn't want to have anything to do with a disreputable organisation like yours.

BRIAN
No he was just a slacker. Kept sending himself threatening letters to save on the post and smashing his own windows.

POLICEMAN
So you mean to say that British racists are just economic migrants being rude about each other?

BRIAN
No not all of us. The Fascist British National are right sods.

POLICEMAN
And who heads them up?

BRIAN
Those 2 racist pigs; Micheal Cohan and Fatima Mohammed.

This is pretty good Soots.

It's slick and it's anti-Racist.

Just like me, I am the Zorro of antiracism.

I thought the sketch itself was a bit muddled and needs sharpening a fair bit but I think your idea about the BNP hiring immigrants for work they are too lazy to do is simply brilliant.

Great idea, Soot. The policeman's second dialogue is a touch clunky and some of the longer dialogue lines too. But it's yet another great idea.

I like it sooty.

POLICEMAN
You've made 200 racist phone calls, harrased 50 members of minorities and raised thousands of pounds for a racist orgainisation. Despite being a gentleman of African origin, why?

BRIAN
Well it's a job.

Brilliant

The part about him sending himself racist mail and smashing his own windows was too good.

...oh, and the title is hilarious.

"to illitrate"???? oh the irony.

Quote: DIKTURNIP @ May 28 2009, 1:44 PM BST

"to illitrate"???? oh the irony.

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Do people tend to call you 'dick' or 'turnip'?

Quote: Lazzard @ May 28 2009, 5:25 PM BST

Do people tend to call you 'dick' or 'turnip'?

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