British Comedy Guide

Just because you stick magnets on your face...

...that doesn't make you a robot.

INT. SCIENCE LAB. - AFTERNOON

DR. FWAK
Oh, Kenneth, you poor, poor boy!

KENNETH
(Robotic voice)
I'm sorry Dr. Fwak.

DR. FWAK
Are you, are you?!

KENNETH
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not a really boy.

DR. FWAK
Oh but you are, my dear sweet child, you are.

KENNETH
No I am not Dr. Fwak, I will never be one.

DR. FWAK
Don't talk like that Kenneth, it pains me to hear you talk like that.

KENNETH
Why do you torment me with dreams of that Dr. Fwak?

DR. FWAK
Because I f**king love you!

KENNETH
What is this you call love?

DR. FWAK
Don't give me that. You know, you know what love feels like.

KENNETH
(Rubbing bottom)
Love hurts.

DR. FWAK
Now tell me you don't feel the same?

KENNETH
I cannot feel love.

DR. FWAK
You can boy, you can. Just let it happen.

KENNETH
Nothings happening.

DR. FWAK
Just give it a second.

KENNETH
(Beat) Hey, hey! Stop it, that was a one off!

DR. FWAK
Just let yourself go Kenneth, relax, be free!

KENNETH
I'm sorry, Dr. Fwak, I just can't do it.

DR. FWAK
Nonsense.

DR. MARY (O.S)
What the bloody hell is going on here?

KENNETH
(Normal voice)
He made me do it!

DR. MARY
Why are you dressed as a robot?

DR. FWAK
He's just pretending to be the kid from A.I.

DR. MARY
And why is your nob out?

DR. FWAK
I'm err... a Dalek! Yes, that's right.

DR. MARY
(Beat) Right. Who's he?

KENNETH
(Robotic voice)
I'm Ken...
(Normal voice)
Kenneth.

DR. MARY
So you're the boy from A.I and you're a Dalek with your nob out?

DR. FWAK & KENNETH
Yes.

DR. MARY
Why?

DR. FWAK
It's an experiment.

DR. MARY
For what?

DR. FWAK
Science!

DR. MARY
Ah, very well then, as long as it's for research, carry on.

END

Yes, I did make it up as I went along.

This is one for Jude, i reckon, she likes a bit of robotic sex.

I see Chris Langham as Dr. Fwak.

But really Leevil, you mustn't give the impression anal sex is painful - there might be women reading this forum.

Well I laughed !

So did ILaughing out loud

You're right Godot, it's right up my street:)

I really enjoyed that. Great sketch Leevil.

Thanks guys. I haven't written in a while, just thought I'd throw out some random bollocks.

I thought it was going to say "Just because you stick magnets on your face doesn't make you attractive". Do you get it? Cos magnets attract? Ha ha, I'm funny.

Warning: Magnets can also repel.

Alright Tommy Cooper.

Quote: Martin Holmes @ August 9, 2007, 12:08 PM

Warning: Magnets can also repel.

So can geeky jokes Laughing out loud

Liked it Leevil, talking bollocks seems to be your niche

That was random... not bad to say you just wrote it then and there.

Quote: ajp29 @ August 9, 2007, 1:30 PM

So can geeky jokes Laughing out loud

Liked it Leevil, talking bollocks seems to be your niche

Hey my joke was good. :D

Anyway, yeah, this sketch isn't really my type of thing, too random.

I like the random stuff. I'd like to see it with daft animation. Funny, Leevil

Godot and Martin's comments made me laugh a lot. Back to the sketch, the randomness was worth it just to conjure the strange and wonderful image of a dalek with its knob out. That should have a show of its own.

"Argh, it's a dalek!! Wait... is that... is that its knob?"

Well thanks for all the comments everyone. The Dr. Fwak name seemed funnier at the time, but not so much now.

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