Quote: DIKTURNIP @ May 21 2009, 10:13 AM BSTNatural dialogue??? I couldn't agree less. Sixteen year olds just DON'T talk like this.
"Here's a couple of pages from my sitcom about my experience in school."
Sorry, I didn't know you were a mate of his and went to the same school.
Shit - sorry. I've just realised. The drill - it's affected your judgment.
Thanks for the advice, I'm currently rewriting the first episode. I've tried to cut down on the unnecessary dialouge slightly and tried to focus moe on the story.
Also, I've given it a slighty darker tone, so the series focuses more on important issues rather than becoming another teen sex comedy.
Quote: Shpadoinkle @ May 24 2009, 8:35 PM BSTThanks for the advice, I'm currently rewriting the first episode. I've tried to cut down on the unnecessary dialouge slightly and tried to focus moe on the story.
Also, I've given it a slighty darker tone, so the series focuses more on important issues rather than becoming another teen sex comedy.
Sounds like a good idea. After all the trouble this post caused, I hope it's good. 