British Comedy Guide

Bond...James...Pond

Bond is sitting in his car.
He gazes in awe of the magnificence of his hand stitched Austin.
He tenderly strokes the leather interior.
He presses the button to reveal the weapons system, ready to engage.
He smiles.
He ponders through his anti-pursuit system and his advanced worldwide pinpoint GPS.
He smiles.
He takes his silencer firearm from his inside jacket pocket, and admires.
He smiles.
He looks over and sees his mobile phone laying on his passenger seat.
He picks it up.

Battery Dead.

''Oh for Fu.c..''

Very good. :)

I think this would work best with Daniel Craig.

Quote: don rushmore @ May 21 2009, 7:07 PM BST

Very good. :)

I think this would work best with Daniel Craig.

It would, as he is such a boring miserable twat. :)

This did make me smile.
I don't get the title though.

Is it cos he Ponders ? Errr

Quote: Scottidog @ May 21 2009, 7:21 PM BST

It would, as he is such a boring miserable twat. :)

Well he can bore me anytime. :$

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ May 21 2009, 7:47 PM BST

This did make me smile.
I don't get the title though.

Is it cos he Ponders ? Errr

Hi Fred.

No, its just a random title I guess.

Just saying James Pond actually makes me laugh. Don't know why?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ May 21 2009, 7:52 PM BST

Well he can bore me anytime. :$

You don't take much to please then Dolly Dagenham?

He is a miserable tit.

(oooooo, great body though ;) )

Quote: Scottidog @ May 21 2009, 7:05 PM BST

Bond is sitting in his car.
He gazes in awe of the magnificence of his hand stitched Austin.
He tenderly strokes the leather interior.
He presses the button to reveal the weapons system, ready to engage.
He smiles.
He ponders through his anti-pursuit system and his advanced worldwide pinpoint GPS.
He smiles.
He takes his silencer firearm from his inside jacket pocket, and admires.
He smiles.
He looks over and sees his mobile phone laying on his passenger seat.
He picks it up.

Battery Dead.

''Oh for Fu.c..''

:D

STUFF Bond, I prefer Peter sellers as Clouseau.

Quote: LIME5000 @ May 22 2009, 7:03 PM BST

STUFF Bond, I prefer Peter sellers as Clouseau.

???

Question you may.

Quote: LIME5000 @ May 22 2009, 7:18 PM BST

Question you may.

Just post something pal, and il ogle my beady eye over the masterpiece we are all waiting for?

:)

You could have him go though all his pocket toys, deadly pen, explosive wristwatch, parachute umbrella etc and find that they all say "battery dead";

though that would then neead a strong punchline.

Thumbs up. I like the subtle touch. I would like seeing an alternative ending though. I like that the cell is dead thing. Just something else for him to say.

Good joke. Strangely written though. Work it out, make it a more interesting read.

Share this page