QUESTION: What was your childhood like?
I had a pretty good childhood actually, apart from the time my family all went away for Christmas and left me in our house on my own. Oh hang on, I'm getting my childhood mixed up with the plot from Home Alone.
My mum and dad banned me from buying the Frankie Goes to Hollywood album. They weren't particularly prudish, they just knew the album tracks weren't as good as the singles.
I grew up an only child but I think it's a myth that only children grow up a bit odd. So does my imaginary friend Viscount Cuckoo.
My parents were very supportive when I was growing up. Every day they would tell me I could be anything I wanted to be if I wished hard enough. I'm now deputy head of personnel at a paperclip factory.
I remember being absolutely gutted when Jim'll Fix It didn't reply to my letter. Then again, perhaps asking to ride Stevie Wonder around like a horse was a little too ambitious.
I was actually raised by Wolves. It hindered my development a bit but at least I got to watch all the matches for free.
I don't want to talk about my childhood. Nothing traumatic happened, it was just really really boring.
You could say I was the class joker. I painted my face in crazy clown colours, waged a campaign of death and destruction on the population of my school and vowed to destroy my arch nemesis Little Batman.
Well to be honest, people say I still act like a child. Mind you, I am only 11.
I remember holding my fathers hand and bawling my eyes out as he buried our beloved pet dog at the bottom of the garden. I wouldn't have minded but Snowy wasn't even dead.
ed.