Question: How green are you?
Hey man, I'm totally green and I mean TOTALLY green. I live off grass, I drink herbal tea and I go to work on flying pink and orange bicycle. Peace and love.
As an MP I have a responsibility to the environment. The Kyoto agreement, global warming, my carbon footprint, of course I'm green. Now if you can excuse me I think that my chauffeur just arrived
Green? Well not today darling. I woke up this morning and felt today was a yellow day. Primrose flares, a lemon shirt, all topped off with this wonderful champagne hat. Very Oscar Wilde don't you think?
Green? How do you mean? Like recycling and stuff? Oh yeah, well we do that every Saturday afternoon. Same old songs, same old performance. Nothing new. You know what I mean. (Chants) 'You don't know what you're doing!'
Well I tried to introduce green policies at work. But when I told the passengers I wasn't going to fly them to New York and they had to use a sailing boat it didn't seem to go down too well.
Green? Obviously I do my best. (Screaming baby F/X) Quiet Freddie, there, there. But I wonder whether the do-gooders have tried recycling these disposable nappies? It's not nice. Freddie had nappy rash for weeks.
OK, yeah. Green. Like ethical investing? Not in the City I'm afraid. But I do pay the congestion charge every day for my Aston. Does that count?
Global warming. So sad. All those polar bears. Bless. I couldn't believe it. And to think they are in such danger. I've bought those mints all my life but I didn't think it would come to this.
Ooh Ah! I do my bit. Muck spreading. Best fertilizer there is. Forget your chemicals, what you want is a good dump of cow shit. Hold on a moment I think I may have some here to show you. No, don't go……