The Apprentice: Hitler

Set resembling the one off The Apprentice. Hitler is sat behind his hardwood desk, with goebbels and ava braun either side. A man is waiting outside the office...

SECRETERY: (ON PHONE) Yes, ok. (TO MAN) Hitler will see you now.

A man enters, scared.

MAN1: Sophie told me you wanted to see me?

Hitler scowls at him, evil stare.

MAN1: Er, did you want to see me, sir?

HITLER : Sit down. ....No, Over there (points to a seat in the corner of the room, facing the wall). I've not been liking what I've been hearing. I gave you one measly job to do this week, and you couldn't even bloody do that!

MAN1: To be fair, that task was to 'preserve the aryan brotherhood, through the destruction of the inferior races'.

HITLER: And yet, somehow, you managed to mess it up. I've got to ask myself, 'do I need someone like that in my organisation?'

MAN1: I apologise, Mein Fuhrer, but some of these tasks you've been giving me and my men - we're finding it hard to see where they fit into your plan. Like last week when you had us searching to buy items on a list for the lowest possible prices..? You can't imagine how difficult it is to buy pie and mash in Copenhagen.

HITLER (CONT): Ava, what were the results from 'Team Blitzkrieg'?

AVA: They collected 10,000 deuchmarks in cash, and the equivilant value in gold teeth from the jews. And managed to haggle a Polish vendor down from 100 marks per sqaure inch of carpet, to zero marks - also taking control of both his house and his wife.

Tense music plays..

HITLER: It's unfortunate.. it's unfortunate. You shown great aptitude when you were team captain of the Auschwitz task.. but last week, when you failed to discover that bloody girl in the attic, I'm afraid that was your downfall.

MAN1 rubs his face.

HITLER: That's why, Hermann, regretably - you're going to be shot in the head.

MAN1 sighs.

MAN1: Thanks for the opportunity, Mein Fuhrer.

He turns and goose-steps out of the room.

AVA: He was a competant solider.

HITLER: But he missed the girl. She could have been packing. His one fatal flaw

Any thoughts? Or have Apprentice sketches been done to death.

It feels a little clumsy, Hitler is funny in small ironic doses. This feels just a bit long and not very nice.

It feels a little clumsy, Hitler is funny in small ironic doses. This feels just a bit long and not very nice.

The concept made me laugh out loud. It's also double Un-PC as Alan Sugar is Jewish, so the shock value made me laugh even more.

You just need to re-work the tasks / jokes a bit. I would finish with MAN1 talking to camera about how hard done by he feels and after the interviewer says thank you, the camera pulls back to show him tied to a post in front of a firing squad.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 15 2009, 1:17 PM BST

The concept made me laugh out loud. It's also double Un-PC as Alan Sugar is Jewish, so the shock value made me laugh even more.

You just need to re-work the tasks / jokes a bit. I would finish with MAN1 talking to camera about how hard done by he feels and after the interviewer says thank you, the camera pulls back to show him tied to a post in front of a firing squad.

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Haha! Loving that last bit. That's just what it needed.

I agree with Sooty about it feeling a bit clumsy.

I think your task could be a bit more specific for a laugh, like:
"To be fair, that task was to 'preserve the aryan brotherhood, through the destruction of the inferior races'. At Camden Market. Before 6pm."

I'd have two more potentials sniping at each other at whose fault the genocide failure was or something.

Also, might be better with two 'other' infamous dictators as Nick and Margaret. King Jong-Il or Saddam Hussain or something.

It's a good concept, just needs a rethink/rewrite.

Dan

A good idea, I'm a fan of squeezing Hitler into anything that you can. The bit about missing the girl in the attic - great. Needs a bit of tightening up as per other comments but definitely got legs

Quote: Flaner @ May 14 2009, 1:34 PM BST

and the equivilant value in gold teeth from the jews.

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That line comes across quite offensive to me. It's one thing ridiculing the Nazi party, but making light of genocide?

Aye - dodgy ground.

For me it's important to decide what can and can't be made light of.

But, with the removal of a couple of bits, great lines such as the attic bit and the simplicity of ' Ava, what were the results from 'Team Blitzkrieg'? ' will stand out all the more.

Overall, I'm a fan

Quote: Flaner @ May 14 2009, 1:34 PM BST

HITLER: That's why, Hermann, regretably - you're going to be shot in the head.

MAN1 sighs.

View original

That was my favourite bit. It's got potential but does need sharpening up - I like Mr Carpark's suggestion too.

Jx