The Boardroom Sketch

Hello, a little something that came to mind during a dull meeting, any comments much appreciated, thanks.

SCENE: INT. BOARDROOM. DAY

OFFICE STAFF ARE SEATED AROUND A BOARDROOM TABLE. A MEETING IS IN PROGRESS. A MAN IS PRESENTING FROM A FLIP CHART.

THE MAN TURNS TO THE FLIPCHART AND BEGINS TO WRITE AN ELABORATE EQUATION ONTO THE PAPER.

HE TURNS FROM THE CHART, ALLOWING IT TO BE VIEWED BY THE REST OF THE ROOM.

MAN:

As we move forward into the 3rd quarter, one of the key touch points for us to amortise is the ROI of each name that we acquire. To whit, what does this represent?

MAN INDICATES THE EQUATION ON THE CHART.

MAN 2:
Ah, that's the P&L against ROI for the lead generation quantifiers.

MAN:
Indeed. But of course that is only one factor in the decision making process. To complete the circle we also need to quantify...

MAN TURNS BACK TO FLIP CHART AND BEGINS WRITING A SECOND EQUALLY COMPLEX EQUATION.

WOMAN:
Of course, the churn rate of each name determines the true return on investment.

MAN TURNS TO FLIP CHART FOR A THIRD TIME, AND BEGINS SCRIBBLING.

MAN:
And what does this represent?

HE HAS NOW MOVED AWAY FROM THE CHART TO REVEAL A DRAWING?

MAN3:
Is it two mexicans riding a bicycle?

END OF SKETCH

I like it! Could be straight out of Reggie Perrin. Probably on a thought good for radio. Just change line to 'What does this drawing represent?'

That was a nice little sketch.

Cheers. Muchos gracias!

Tidy. I like it.

Very nice. Although I'd have preferred "Is it two Mexicans pissing in a bucket?"

Enjoyable. But it is kind of a variation on The Fast Shows "I'll get my coat" sketches.

Again, thank you for your kind comments and taking the time to read my effort. Not sure if this is allowed, but a different ending (avoiding uriniating mexicans) could be:

SCENE: INT. BOARDROOM. DAY

OFFICE STAFF ARE SEATED AROUND A BOARDROOM TABLE. A MEETING IS IN PROGRESS. A MAN IS PRESENTING FROM A FLIP CHART.

THE MAN TURNS TO THE FLIPCHART AND BEGINS TO WRITE AN ELABORATE EQUATION ONTO THE PAPER.

HE TURNS FROM THE CHART, ALLOWING IT TO BE VIEWED BY THE REST OF THE ROOM.

MAN:

As we move forward into the 3rd quarter, one of the key touch points for us to amortise is the ROI of each name that we acquire. To whit, what does this represent?

MAN INDICATES THE EQUATION ON THE CHART.

MAN 2:
Ah, that's the P&L against ROI for the lead generation quantifiers.

MAN:
Indeed. But of course that is only one factor in the decision making process. To complete the circle we also need to quantify...

MAN TURNS BACK TO FLIP CHART AND BEGINS WRITING A SECOND EQUALLY COMPLEX EQUATION.

WOMAN:

Of course, the churn rate of each name determines the true return on investment.

MAN TURNS TO FLIP CHART FOR A THIRD TIME, AND BEGINS SCRIBBLING FURIOUSLY.

HE THEN TURNS BACK TO THE AUDIENCE. HIS FACE IS COVERED IN FELT TIP SCRAWL. HE HAS DRAWN MOUSTACHE, GLASSES, STUBBLE, ETC ONTO HIS OWN FACE.

BOWING HE THEN WALKS TO A WINDOW WHICH HE OPENS AND JUMPS THROUGH.

END OF SKETCH

Love the second version.

you've warmed the cockles of my heart, and there's nothing like hot cockles.

Pretty nice. But reminds me a little of something. Think it was a joke about lorries that ended "or it might have been two guys on motorbikes carrying a wardrobe".

Different enough I suppose.

I like this. First version I preferred and could easily work as a radio sketch.

(I've seen this sort of thing before, though I can't for the life of me remember where. Some sketch (I think) where the guy just makes up lots of nonsense on the flip chart and then says something about London bus tours or something. Anybody have any idea what I'm thinking of?)

Dan