I sometimes create expressions that get a life of their own and enter popular culture. So here is my latest -
Indoor Cat - As in, 'I can't go out tonight, I'm being an indoor cat'. Saying you are being an Indoor Cat signifies that you aren't leaving the flat or facing the outside world.
If you hear this expression again in months to come, then you will know from whenst it came.
P.s. I am mad. 
I for one shall be adopting this expression post haste.
I used to say I'm not going out tonight for I am a sad loser. Now I can be an 'indoor cat' instead which sounds much better.
For your next trick can you invent something I can say when people ask me what I do for a living.
Currently I have to say I work in finance for I have no imagination.
Anyway, you're not mad you're 'normally challenged'.
Jx
Can't see the "indoor cat" catching on, at least not with me. I already have two favourite expressions for staying indoors (avoiding tedious social occasions): Sorry love, can't come out tonight, I've got to wash the birdcage. And, I've got to wash the cat.
Nothing beats Peter Cook's response (posted elswhere) to David Frost's invitation to have dinner with Fergie and Andrew: "Sorry, I'm watching TV that night."
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 9 2009, 2:08 PM BSTI sometimes create expressions that get a life of their own and enter popular culture.
I prefer your earlier ones like "F**k off you c**t!" and "Who you f**kin' lookin' at?!"
Come on Jane, you got to the semi-finals of the Sitcom Trials, I think you can tell people that you are a comedy writer now. If not, then the old stand by 'I'm something in the city' is always a good one. Finally, if all else fails, come up with a job title that you can't be caught out with - like Executive Consultant or Business Manager, sounds both important and vague.
My favourite job title is Government Artist (I draw the dole).
Kenneth and Morrace, Indoor Cat will catch on. One day you'll tune into T4 and a presenter will say to a pop star 'Did you see the gig last night?' and the pop star will reply 'No, I was an Indoor Cat last night'.
I really do live in a world of my own. La, la, la.
I'm enjoying how my status has been falsely reported as semi-finalist. I'm hoping by Christmas I'll be able to say I won the whole thing!
In the meantime surely comedy writer is the last thing I'd want to say I do. "Go on then make me laugh" they'll reply. "Ok just give me three days, 37 re-writes and a chance to check with my pals on critique first!"
Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 6:05 PM BSTI'm enjoying how my status has been falsely reported as semi-finalist. I'm hoping by Christmas I'll be able to say I won the whole thing!
In the meantime surely comedy writer is the last thing I'd want to say I do. "Go on then make me laugh" they'll reply. "Ok just give me three days, 37 re-writes and a chance to check with my pals on critique first!"
When I used to say, "I'm a comedy writer" people said:
"Oh piss off - don't make me laugh"
Quote: Griff @ May 9 2009, 6:33 PM BSTOr as Bob Monkhouse famously put it:
"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now."
Good one!
Mind you with me; 'they weren't laughing then' - 'they are now!'
Oh - and Bob Monkhouse isn't doing 'stand up' any more. RIP - Legendary 'Joke Encyclopedia'. 
Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 6:05 PM BSTIn the meantime surely comedy writer is the last thing I'd want to say I do. "Go on then make me laugh" they'll reply. "Ok just give me three days, 37 re-writes and a chance to check with my pals on critique first!" "That's not how it works."
Easy.
Quote: Aaron @ May 9 2009, 8:14 PM BSTEasy.
Great. Another conversation stopper. I'm just going to have to pretend to like talking about sports until I can come up with something better. "Really, you're third in your football manager league table at work? Wow, that's quite impressive" "Me? No. I signed Trevor Brooking as he's the only footballer I know but he's got arthritis now so we're not doing so well" etc
Damn you, small talk!
"I'm skint" doesn't work now. People seem to think it's even more of an excuse for me to go out.
"Oh come on mate, we'll have a laugh, you can forget all about being skint".
Can't help but think indoor cat will work in much the same way.
"I'm an indoor cat tonight"
"Yea, but outdoor cat's have more fun, come on mate, be an outdoor cat, you know you want to!".
These are good but a bit OTT and can't be overused for obvious reasons.
"Hey mate, no I can't tonight, your sister is coming round for coffee"
"Hey mate, no I can't tonight, I'm at the hospital. You can come round here if you like?"
Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 8:38 PM BSTGreat. Another conversation stopper. I'm just going to have to pretend to like talking about sports until I can come up with something better. "Really, you're third in your football manager league table at work? Wow, that's quite impressive" "Me? No. I signed Trevor Brooking as he's the only footballer I know but he's got arthritis now so we're not doing so well" etc
Damn you, small talk!
You have a strange obsession with small talk!
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 9 2009, 2:08 PM BSTI sometimes create expressions that get a life of their own and enter popular culture. So here is my latest -
Indoor Cat - As in, 'I can't go out tonight, I'm being an indoor cat'. Saying you are being an Indoor Cat signifies that you aren't leaving the flat or facing the outside world.
If you hear this expression again in months to come, then you will know from whenst it came.
P.s. I am mad.
Are you sure you came up with that entirely by yourself? Some of the characters in The Wire were referring to a desk-bound officer as a "House Cat", in one of last night's episodes.
Quote: Aaron @ May 9 2009, 9:46 PM BSTYou have a strange obsession with small talk!
Oh. I thought it was one of my least strange obsessions.
