British Comedy Guide

The Ultimate Form Of Deception Page 2

Quote: The Rook @ May 8 2009, 5:29 PM BST

Swimming underwater can make anybody's body look good.

Agreed. Why else would whales live there eh?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 8 2009, 6:27 PM BST

the ultimate form of deception is as follows:

Night Clubs.

Darkened rooms filled with alcohol and the smell of hormones create the greatest illusions known to man (or woman).

I met mine there too - bloody 30 years ago!!!!!

BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunglasses only cover the eyes, so they're not that deceptive. Burka's are far worse since most cover suicide bombs.

Quote: sootyj @ May 8 2009, 9:16 PM BST

But Morrace with my glasses off you're beautiful!

Yeh - and that's all you're gonna take off, sunshine!

Laughing out loud!

I combined your ideas earlier at the pool by swimming underwater with my sunglasses on to perv at people unnoticed.

I am now banned from there for another three weeks.

Can anyone recommend some decent swimming goggles though? I always buy what are supposed to be good brands and wear them tight but I've never had a pair that didn't leak.

(Morrace this note is for you in particular, please refrain from twisting the above to make me sound incontinent or worse!)

Jx

Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 2:53 PM BST

Can anyone recommend some decent swimming goggles though?

Google Goggles.

Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 2:53 PM BST

Can anyone recommend some decent swimming goggles though?
Jx

You should try Beer Goggles Jane, not only do you look smokin' hot in them but so does everyone else. :P

My favourite Beer Goggle expression is 2 at 10 and 10 at 2 - which refers to looking at someone you think is minging at the beginning of the evening, but then finding them unbelieveably stunning once you're pissed out of your head at 2AM.

In answer to both Morrace and Mr Carpark if you Google goggles you will discover that the whole beer goggles thing is a myth.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5182492/Beer-goggles-idea-is-a-myth-claim-scientists.html

I'm afraid you can only blame yourselves for your poor judgement, not the alcohol.

Cool

"Drink also makes no difference to a man's ability to guess a woman's age, the research found."

I was pissed when I first met the Mrs. It went something like this:

MORRACE:
(LICKING HIS LIPS AND TASTING) Mmmmm... Peckham...Tart... 1962?

And I was RIGHT!

Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 2:53 PM BST

ICan anyone recommend some decent swimming goggles though? I always buy what are supposed to be good brands and wear them tight but I've never had a pair that didn't leak.

I find Speedo ones pretty good. Personally I prefer to wear a snorkel mask (on holiday, not in a public pool) - better vision and you don't need a nose clip.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ May 9 2009, 7:51 PM BST

I find Speedo ones pretty good. Personally I prefer to wear a snorkel mask (on holiday, not in a public pool) - better vision and you don't need a nose clip.

I can breathe through my ears, if you know what I mean. ;)

Apologies Dolly, but there were no other sexists to hand. So I filled the gap. :O

Morrace, I hope your wife doesn't have access to your computer! Or she gets her own back on another site. :)

Thanks Dolly, I currently have speedos and they still fill up. I must have an odd shaped head. I'll have to perservere with eyes open underwater and not think about what's in there apart from water and chlorine!

And Renegade - really? We should talk.

;)

Quote: Jane P @ May 9 2009, 8:43 PM BST

I'll have to perservere with eyes open underwater and not think about what's in there apart from water and chlorine!

I can't really swim due to problems with my ears, but I remember being shocked the first time I wore goggles to a public pool. Perhaps it should have been called a pubic pool, because under the surface lurked a veritable forest of protruding pubes. It was the 70s, so I assume today's tidier (Brazilian?) generation are less likely to display their short & curlies while swimming.

Quote: chipolata @ May 9 2009, 1:47 PM BST

Sunglasses only cover the eyes, so they're not that deceptive. Burka's are far worse since most cover suicide bombs.

:)

("Burqas" or "burkhas" though.)

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