Griff, that really hurts.
I guess your little avatar speaks the truth.
Re
olly
No, I don't think it is a sketch, it is part of something bigger, an ongoing project. Granted the bigger thing is not apparent or necessarily funny. But I refuse to believe that you will find a better pun regarding a potentially violent conflict between oriental fungi and a dish with a pastry base.
But it was just something I'd had floating around for a bit, and thought I'd get down.
Sorry that was RE : Dolly.
This I found extremely interesting and well worth the effort. It reminded me of the mystery novel I'm writing at the moment - well not writing at the moment literally, because at the moment I'm commenting on your extremely interesting piece and well worth the effort. My novel "Recliner Beyond the Tall Order Cook" also involves a fridge containing food, namely: beer, cheese, butter, eggs, tomatoes, cucumber, etc, so you could say we have something in Clapham Common.
SPOREMOO: We have something in Clapham Common.
Oh – you did say it. Well done!
Anyway, my novel (and therefore your well worth the effort piece) has been likened to the works of Jam Donut. Jam Donut is of the opinion that a predominant giggle-concept is the concept of neo-conceptual comedy.. An abundance of it is found within the BSG. Similarly, Timothy Mallet uses the term 'sub-modern cultural theory' to denote the role of the comedy writer as observer.
Returning to your extremely interesting and well worth the effort piece; any kooky girl can realise a "shittake is about to hit the flan." but it takes a real quiche to try to seduce a kitchen help with peaches and cream. The quiche competes with some self-righteous snack, and a ham beside the sycophant wisely dances with mushrooms (as opposed to 'Wolves'). A self-loathing fruit cake could be dwelt upon in this instance. The Japanese mushroom can either be evenhandedly fried or sat on depending on the temperature of the fridge in question or whether or not there is a gnome, elf or fairy handy.
May I suggest that the kooky girl panics, and a quiche from the fridge graduates from the flan causing the kooky girl to fall pregnant, then she could well be developed into a tall order cook as in my mystery novel, "Recliner Beyond the Tall Order Cook", which features a short order cook who whilst working in the Euro Express train organises an omelette strike without breaking any eggs - then a pork chop carelessly ignores a soggy cheese-burger causing an outbreak of silly fool poisoning.
The aforementioned can be interpolated into that which includes art as a paradox. Therefore, 'neo-conceptual construction' as defined by the Chuckle Brothers, denotes the common ground between; a kooky girl, a kitchen, ham, cheese - peaches and cream, quiche, Japanese mushrooms, cucumber, culture and comedy – and comedy, as my wife often reminds me as I'm about to enter her doggy-fashion, is what I'm all about, Alfie.
As ever hilarious Morrace and so incomprehensible I don't know why.
I guess that's told me. Back to the drawing board...
The problem with outting the trolls is that it puts real people off posting.
It's intimidating, but I hope it hasn't put you off, Sporemoo.
Maybe if we just ignore the trolls, and critique work at face value the trolls might get bored?
Or am I just being naive?
No Angie, that's exactly what to do. Sadly, the only trouble actually caused is when people start 'pointing out' and arguing about apparent trolling, which otherwise would be no more than an annoyance. Trolling is a disease which spreads quickly, and the most well-intentioned are proved time and time again to be the least immune.
Well Aaron this thread has completely gone off track so I might just close the thread as no one is really talking about the work, just accusing each other of trolling.
Sorry if that seemed rather troll like.
Hello Sporemoo. Think it has great potential. The 'funny', I think, is all in the other guy's annoyance at the observed behaviour, the weak pun being the last straw(berry). I'd end the sketch with him completely losing it, opening the fridge door and aggresively sweeping all the ingredients out onto the floor, to the shocked reaction of the other pair. I'd be interested in filming it with a small rewrite. Let me know if interested.
To be honest. It's not my finest piece of work and Morrace's scathing critique does not hold much gravitas with me because, as well written and intellectual as it is, it's not funny.
Believe me, I am not a troll. This my first post on here GENUINELY 100% and any sort of criticism will not deter me from posting on here. I don't mind what people think of my work.
I hope you're looking forward to my next piece which is based on an theatre group from the west country.
It's called Cornish Pastiche...
I read and I enjoyed it. Like with most stuff I read at afce value.
Nice bit of writing but those directions are only going to be funny if they are some how read aloud.
I'm thinking of a radio play where the humour lies entirely in how the directions are read aloud.
Quote: Sporemoo @ May 8 2009, 2:23 PM BSTI hope you're looking forward to my next piece which is based on an theatre group from the west country.
It's called Cornish Pastiche...
Let's hope it's original 'cos the title ain't!
> > > > > http://tinyurl.com/qzdg4j
Oh really? I can't believe that. Surely it's never been used before.
Quote: Sporemoo @ May 8 2009, 5:20 PM BSTOh really? I can't believe that. Surely it's never been used before.
1) Yup. It's well pasty sell-by-date.
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2)
MORRACE IS SHOWING HIS TINY DINKLE TO A HOOKER.
MORRACE: Are you ready, babes? This here weapon has been up dozens of women!
HOOKER: Oh really? I can't believe that. Surely it's never been used before.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Quote: Sporemoo @ May 8 2009, 5:20 PM BSTOh really? I can't believe that. Surely it's never been used before.
That's the problem with puns - if you've thought of it, then a vast army of comedians from time immemorial have already had longer to think it up. It's incredibly rare to develop an unique pun before someone else.
I agree with SlagA,
All my life I've been waiting for the right pun to come along.