GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO HARRIET HARMAN AND JAQUI SMITH.
JAQUI
Gordon we're worried about your ability to make choice, it's like your political attena is broken off.
GORDON
Really?
HARRIET
Well really broken right off and shoved up your arse.
JAQUI
So Gordon we want to help you make choices. Here's a picture of a Brave Gurkha and here's a picture of Adolf Hitler the world's most evil man. Which one is more popular?
SHOWS GORDON 2 PICTURES HE LOOKS CONFUSED AND SCRATCHES HIS HEAD.
GORDON PUNCHES ONE PICTURE.
Take that you damn dirty Gurkha!
GORDON KISSES THE OTHER PICTURE.
Greetings Mr Hitler would you like assylum and a million pounds in child benefit.
JAQUI
No Gordon!
GORDON
Sorry it was harder than choosing between snogging Nicolas Sarkosi and Carla Bruni.
HARRIET (WINKING AT JAQUI)
Ok Gordon what would you like? A gun or a nice cup of tea.
HANDS GORDON A CUP AND A GUN HE STARES AT THEM.
THEN PUTS THE GUN IN HIS MOUTH.
THEN PULLS IT OUT AND SHOOTS JAQUI AND HARRIET THEN HIMSELF.
THEY ALL FALL TO THE GROUND.
JAQUI
At least he chose what the voters want.
More to follow!
BORIS JOHNSON AND DAVID CAMERON ARE CHATTING OVER A CUP OF TEA.
DAVID
Boris you've done a simply splendid job as mayor of London.
So much some say you want my job.
BORIS
Not at all Dave oh I had your bicycle cleaned.
DAVID
Thank you Boris you did a very thorough job you actually cleaned the brakes right off.
BORIS
They were very nice. Mmm this coffee smells of Almonds is there syrup in it?
DAVID
Oh that'll be the cyanide. Damn!
BORIS AND DAVID TOGETHER
You're trying to kill me!
DAVID
That is such a relief I was sick of being the nice party.
BORIS
Yes it was kinda gay all that Hug a Hoody nonsense.
DAVID
Now it's mug a pensioner again.
ALAN SUGAR WALKS ON AND SHOOTS THEM BOTH.
ALAN
I'm Alan Sugar next mayor of London and you're both fired!
