Rabbit.

A WOMAN IS IN A PET SHOP TALKING TO THE SHOP KEEPER.

MAN
I'd avoid buying one of the rabbits.

WOMAN
Why? Too much responsibility for one person? Do you think my flat might be to small?

MAN
No they're lying bastards.

WOMAN
I beg your pardon.

MAN
They lie.
GRABS RABBIT OUT OF A CAGE AND HOLDS IT UP BY IT'S EARS.
Don't you. Tell my wife she should leave me didn't you? Tell her to shag Eric from the grocers? Called the Inland Revenue on me didn't you?

WOMAN SLAPS MAN

WOMAN
Get a hold of yourself rabbit's can't talk. Let alone operate phone systems or invent allegations to the inland revenue.

MAN
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been a hard year, the wife leaving me, the tax bill, I even caught mixamatosis. Look take the rabbit.

HE HANDS THE WOMAN THE RABBIT SHE PUTS IT IN A CAGE AND LEAVES.

RABBIT
Bloody hell he's cracked I'm so glad you got my phone call. So what are we going to do about this thing between us?

WOMAN
I'm not shagging you.

RABBIT
Oh.

WOMAN
I'm cooking you for dinner.

RABBIT
Women eh.

Beautiful

Not sure the ending is quite right for me - the punchline being the rabbit talking, then building, and thus raising expectation.

I find that in a 'double punch-line' ending like this, if the second part doesn't quite live up to it, I'd drop from there on.

Perhaps reworking of rabbit's first line and end there?

Really liked it though - grand idea.

You're right I need to work the last lines into 2 lines.

Thanks expect fire works!

Quote: sootyj @ May 3 2009, 10:20 PM BST

A WOMAN IS IN A PET SHOP TALKING TO THE SHOP KEEPER.

MAN
I'd avoid buying one of the rabbits.

WOMAN
Why? Too much responsibility for one person? Do you think my flat might be to small?

MAN
No they're lying bastards.

WOMAN
I beg your pardon.

MAN
They lie.
GRABS RABBIT OUT OF A CAGE AND HOLDS IT UP BY IT'S EARS.
Don't you. Tell my wife she should leave me didn't you? Tell her to shag Eric from the grocers? Called the Inland Revenue on me didn't you?

WOMAN SLAPS MAN

WOMAN
Get a hold of yourself rabbit's can't talk. Let alone operate phone systems or invent allegations to the inland revenue.

MAN
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been a hard year, the wife leaving me, the tax bill, I even caught mixamatosis. Look take the rabbit.

HE HANDS THE WOMAN THE RABBIT SHE PUTS IT IN A CAGE AND LEAVES.

RABBIT
Bloody hell he's cracked I'm so glad you got my phone call. So what are we going to do about this thing between us?

WOMAN
I'm cooking you for dinner.

RABBIT
Women eh.

View original

I like this one Sooty. But I've leave off the rabbits last line.

I agree with Bigfella - 'Women eh?' is one of those punchlines oft quoted by most people you meet. The build-up is so good that I'd just leave it off as Bigfella suggests

If I ever sell I will bow to your wiser counsel.

I just liked the idea of a close up of the rabbit going "women eh?"
followed by an embarassed trombone.

But you're both right the woman's last line is the clincher.

Now you didn't mention the trombone; that changes everything!!

.
Sorry, but this would be really gilding the lily - but I thought I'd throw it in!

WOMAN
I'm cooking you for dinner.

RABBIT
Women eh? - bunny-boilers or what?!

.

Nice one Morrace so obvious I'm amazed I missed it.

Maybe

I'm not a bunny boiler.

Phew

I'm going to deepfry you.