TOBY IS HAVING A MEETING WITH COLIN IN A NATIONAL TRUST MEETING.
COLIN
Now Toby you've been managing Old Lady Took's caves for 6 weeks now and I think it's time we discussed your rebranding.
TOBY
Good isn't it? In these credit crunch times families won't pay £20 to wander through some dank cave, which might be haunted. No it's all Xboxes and porn and..
COLIN
Yes Toby it's the porn element. I'm not happy about you renaming Cavalier's hideaway, Lindsay Lohan's fanny.
TOBY
I was being ironic.
COLIN
And to quote your website. "Come to Old Lady Took's caves and journey into Lindsay Lohan's fanny it's always wet."
TOBY
It's the condensation.
COLIN
Don't play clever with me my boy! How do you explain renaming the Captain's Hideaway "John Barrowman's back passage coach parties welcome."
TOBY
We're not homophobic?
COLIN
Nor it would appear we are very discerning! Paris Hilton's tunnel of love? And of course, "Get lost in the valley of Jordan's pussy maps essential."
TOBY
Oh now that's not fair I took that off her and Peter Andre's swingers page.
COLIN
Toby that is immaterial. You've only got one semi normal site name "Gordon's ear" how did you choose that name?
TOBY
Oh that's easy. You stick your head in shout and there's an amazing echo.
