Hello losers
Don't usually post on here but I've written myself into a corner. Below is a sketch. I'm quite happy with it even if you're not. But the punch line. It's pretty shit. I need a substitute pwease. Your reward will be several virgins waiting for you when you blow yourself to smithereens in the fruit market. All the best Roscoff.
Swine Flu Burial
SCENE: Two government press officers at a meeting.
George: Morning Tarquin
Tarquin: Morning George.
George: Listen Tarquin old son we've had a directive from Gordo to see if we can't get a bit of the old bad news under the RADAR whilst there's all this fuss about this Swine Flu nonsense.
Tarquin: Swine flu?
George: Yes you know. (grunts like a pig)
(sneezes)
(In Mexican accent) You eeez looking a leetle pale gringo.
Tarquin: Ahh, otherwise known as ACD.
George: ACD?
Tarquin: Alistair Campbell Disease.
George: Ah! Good one. Anyway Tarquin I was wondering if we had anything on the old books we can sneak out whilst those journo types are looking the other way as it were.
Tarquin: Well, let me see (types on desktop) well there's those two illegal immigrants found hiding in Alistair Darlings eyebrows.
George: Oh nice one Tarquin. Anything else?
Tarquin: There's Jade Goody. She being Princess Diana's sister and all.
George: Oh yes. Her maj will be mighty pleased if we can keep that one quiet.
Tarquin: And there's the fact that Madeleine McAnn was actually run over by Prince Phillip.
George: Oh excellent Tarquin! At this rate we'll be up for a knighthood. Well that's a pretty good selection. Next you'll be telling me the Prime Ministers a one eyed Raith Rovers supporter.
Tarquin: Don't be silly George, who would believe that?
I shouldn't laugh but I liked that. As to the sketch, it did miss a clear end. Not sure about the horse pull-out but I'd say go with your instincts.