INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY.
2 KIDS ARE WATCHING TV UNTIL THEIR MUM COMES IN AND TURNS IT OFF.
MUM
No more TV today boys.
KID 1
But Mum, the cartoons were about to start.
KID 2
Please let us have it back on, ultimate fighting is on later.
MUM
Don’t worry; I’ve got a surprise that you will enjoy a lot more.
KID 1
Is it chocolate?
KID 2
Is it a sports car?
MUM
Nope.
MUM PRODUCES 2 LIBRARY CARDS AND HANDS THEM TO HER KIDS. THEY BOTH FROWN.
KID 1
Galaxy bars seem to have shrunk.
KID 2
I can’t start a Ferrari with a piece of card.
MUM
Don’t look so disappointed, I haven’t told you what they are yet. Libraries are magical places that have books, CDs and even DVDs in. With those cards you can borrow anything you like.
KID 1
Wow, can we go now Mum?
KID 2
I wonder if they have books with boobs in.
MUM
Of course we can.
CUT TO:
INT. LIBRARY. DAY.
KID 1 GOING TO THE COUNTER WITH HIS LIBRARY CARD AND SOME BOOKS.
LIBRARY ASSISTANT
Hello young man, is this everything?
KID 1
Not quite, I couldn’t carry it all on my own so I brought my brother along to help.
SHOW KID 2 WALKING TOWARDS THE COUNTER WITH A WHEELBARROW. IT IS FULL OF SHELVES, SQUARES OF CARPET AND A COMPUTER.
KID 2
This is heavy stuff; I won’t need to work on my abs in the gym tonight.
LIBRARY ASSISTANT
(LOOKS CONFUSED)
I’m sorry but you can’t borrow them.
KID 1
Why not? Mum said you would lend us anything.
LIBRARY ASSISTANT
Only books, CDs and DVDs. Feel free to use the computer anytime you’re here though.
KID 1
What about the shelves and carpet?
LIBRARY ASSISTANT
Same applies for them. If you want to walk on the carpet or rest books on the shelves whilst you are here, go for it. Would you still like to borrow these books?
KID 1
No thanks, I was only really interested in putting those shelves up in my bedroom//
KID 2
Hang on a minute.
KID 2 LETS GO OF THE WHEELBARROW AND PICKS UP ONE OF THE BOOKS.
KID 2 (CON’TD)
I’ll still have that one, can’t beat a good racy novel.
LIBRARY ASSISTANT SCANS THE BOOK.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET. DAY.
THE 2 KIDS MEET THERE MUM OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY. SHE IS WEARING A BLACK BEANIE HAT AND CARRYING A BIG SACK.
MUM
You got the gear boys?
KID 1
Sorry, we only managed to get out 1 book.
MUM GRABS THE BOOK FROM KID 2 AND LOOKS AT IT.
MUM
Firm breasts, I’ve already got them! You 2 are useless.
MUM THROWS THE BOOK AT HER KIDS AND STORMS OFF.
KID 1
Where are you going Mum?
MUM
To the carpet fitters.
END.
