Short poems and whatever silliness:
Some limericks:
There once was a Mexican pig
Who was quite as fit as a fig
He contracted swine flu
Which turned his head blue
And now he hides under a wig
There once was a pig caught swine flu
Who didn't know what to do
In less than a day
He had passed away
Just after infecting you too
And haikus:
If you have swine flu
It is quite bad for your health
You should wear a mask
Tamiflu is good
There's only enough for half
Feeling lucky, punk?
For updates regarding swine flu
You may have to go on Yahoo
Stay warm and indoors
Cut down visits to whores
And stockpile supplies of fondue.
There once was a Mexican swine
To a human he did take a shine
They met in Cancun
By the light of the moon
They married and its going fine.
Oh go on then, haven't written a poem since school days!
Seems the media's awash with swine Flu
Surely a Pig Cold can't kill me and you?
But those Mexicans they're tough,
They're made of strong stuff.
So is it Hogwash? Or could it be true?
For in these days of the Celeb academic
It's not hard to whip up a pandemic.
Be it Avian or Swine
It's so hard to define
Amidst sensation, debate and polemic.
But the seed once it's planted can stay.
Just one sneeze leaves you in disarray.
As you think whilst you wipe,
Is it scaremongering and hype?
Or could I really be brown bread in a day?
Quote: Rob0 @ April 29 2009, 11:47 PM BSTShort poems and whatever silliness:
And haikus:
If you have swine flu
It is quite bad for your health
You should wear a mask
Hi Rob
I enjoyed yours but suggest a rewrite on this one:
If you have swine flu
It is quite bad for your health
Too late for a mask.
I love haikus!
(This isn't mine but one I always remember)
Friends Reunited
There's money to be made
In unfinished business
Jx
This little piggy went to New York
This little piggy went to Rome
This little piggy had symptoms
And this little piggy had none
And this little piggy went
nee-naw-nee-naw all the way home.
>_<
So many pig threads about. I'll just whack this in here.
Not my handy work, but fun.
Upon the dawn, this very morn
Just as I did awaken,
I put my hand upon my cock
And found a roll of bacon
I found this quite amusing, but
Halfway through my cackling,
My dog came in and scoffed my balls
Cos they were made of crackling.
I thank you.
A variation on a theme:
I wonder if all news is true?
I've just read about tiny Peru
I was told never to lie
And that pigs couldn't fly
So why do they say the swine flew?
Lord Gatsby that stuck-up old toff
Well he noticed he'd a tickly cough
What a shocking to-do
He'd developed Swine Flu
And within a day they had carried him off.
(Bum bum! Optional)
There once was a piggy called Stu
Who caught a bout of the flu
He sneezed on some dude
How incredibly rude
Now its dying time for me and for you.
One for all you animal lovers........ *asks Mods nicely to move thread to General*
Bacon, chops, sausage Ribs
BB sauce, requiring bibs
Fried or roasted in a tin
Veggies swearing 'It's a sin'
Piggy Wiggy, Babe or Porker
Names not needed at the slaughter
Look into their little eyes
And not envisage fresh pork pies?
Neck, Belly, Ears and feet
It's not a pet, it's only meat
Emotive, I will give you that
Now do you know which shop sells cat!
I once had a Pig
He was cute & Smelly
I used him as a drugs Mule
And gave him a Pot Belly.
Steve Sunshine stole my pig
And made it wear a wig
A dildo made from orange cheese
Was used to make it jig
Piggy, piggy, pig
Pig, pig, pig,
Piggy, wiggy, wig
What a flid
'Hey, care to dance?'
Said the pig, to the sheep
At the end of the night
At the fair on the heath
'If you buy me a drink
I will dance with you pig'
So the pig did just that
And the sheep danced a jig
'Hey, care to dance?'
Said the pig, to the cow
At the fair on the heath
On the outskirts of Slough
'If you buy me a drink
I will dance with you swine'
So the pig did just that
And the cow danced just fine
'Hey, care to dance?'
Said the pig to the goat
On the outskirts of Slough
At a place so remote
'If you buy me a drink
I will dance with you sow'
So the pig did just that
And they out danced the cow
'Hey, care to dance?'
Said the pig to the man
At a place so remote
By a white butcher's van
'Step inside said the man
By those knives is some drink'
So the pig did just that
Did they dance? What'd you think?