Man walks into Doctors surgery.
DOCTOR: Yes, how can I help
MAN: Doctor, I think I may have Swine Flu?
DOCTOR: Ughhhh, not another, let me guess, you have a fever? high temperature? hot and cold sweats? fatigue?...
MAN: No, ive just f**ked a mexican pig?
Not bad. Here's another.
MAN: WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: I don't know.
MAN: No, WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: I said I don't know.
Etc, etc.
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ April 29 2009, 10:36 PM BSTNot bad. Here's another.
MAN: WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: I don't know.
MAN: No, WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: I said I don't know.
Etc, etc.
Sorry to Scottidog but I'm laughing at Mr Kelly's hijacking with an updated old joke format that is one of my faves. Nice one Nige! 
And another:
MAN:
Vet, my pig's not been himself recently. He's got a fever and a snuffly snout.
VET:
He must have flu
MAN:
No he walked, he's not a flying pig
[quote name="Nigel Kelly" post="406821" date="April 29 2009, 10:36 PM BST"]Not bad. Here's another.
MAN: WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: I don't know.
MAN: No, WHO raised the pandemic level to 5.
MAN 2: The president of china?
MAN What?
MAN 2 I think the president of SriLanka has bigger concerns, it's who?
MAN Well David Tenant is taking the loss of the role hard.
MAN2 Not its W H O it's part of the UN.
MAN What's so unbelievable?
MAN2 Why do you keep going on about What?
MAN Who?
Miss Piggy: Hello Kermie hows about a little Kissie for Moi
KERMIT PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HER
Kermit: You can't be too careful.
Ba Bada Bada bah
It's time to close our Borders
It's time to vaccinate
It's time to get this over
Before it gets too late.
SPIDERS WEB IN A PIG STY
"This pig is sick you're all going to f**king die."
Hang on aren't we supposed to not put rewrites in critique threads?
Oops sorry.
Oh, right. This isn't one of the new-fangled threads where can add and edit.
Thought the original joke was alright, though the f**king pig joke's been used quite a lot from what I've heard.