British Comedy Guide

Equality

AN INTERVIEW BETWEEN A MANAGER & A PROSPECTIVE CANDIDATE.

Manager: Well Mr Pinder you're by far the strongest candidate we've seen & I'd like to offer you the job.

Candidate: That's great thank you. So when do I start ?

Manager: Ah not so fast. I said I'd like to offer you the job, doesn't mean I can, there may be a Woman with skills that are equal or almost equal to yours.

Candidate: Is there a Woman with equal or almost equal skills?

Manager: Don't be sexist! There must be one out there somewhere.

Candidate: No! I meant have you interviewed one?

Manager: I've got to be so Bloody careful these days. Problem is, If I refuse to employ someone of ethnic origin I could easily end up on the race offenders register, or if I overlook a female I could easily end up on the sex offenders register.

Candidate: I don't think that the sex offenders register is for...

Manager: I just can't go around employing your sort

Candidate : My sort ? What exactly is my sort?

Manager: It's not what sort you are, it's more what sort you aren't.
It 's all in the book. It's called 'We won't tolerate intolerance'.

Candidate: There's a book that tells you who you must employ?

Manager: No of course not, don't be ridiculous. it's still a free country. The book just tells you how much trouble you will be in if you don't employ who they say...

Candidate: Am I wasting my time here then ?

Manager: No, No not at all. Lets see if we can't get you some points on the board. Please tell me you're gay ?

Candidate: Definitely not.

Manager: Are you sure?

Candidate: Yes

Manager: Well you know what they say…?

Candidate: I'm quite sure.

Manager: Do you have a good religion?

Candidate : What's a good religion? I'm not really religious to be honest.

Manager: That's a shame Islam is on a par with Racism and Christianity lies somewhere between Sexism & Homophobia.

Candidate: So is there anyway you can give me the job without losing yours or are we just wasting our time?

Manager: Would you be willing to change your ethnic origin ?

Candidate: How on earth would I do that ?

Manager: No you're quite right that's completely preposterous, This firm could never get away with trying that again

Candidate: I think I should just go.

Manager: Not so fast, there's always the lesbian option.

Candidate: I'm listening.

Manager: I don't suppose you'd be prepared to dress up as a woman would you?

Candidate: I thought you'd never ask!

Nice, good punchline. Well done Fred, enjoyed this one.

Nice. Could imagine this one a t.v sketch, easy sketch, nice dialogue. :)

Laughing out loud

Enjoyed from start to finish.

:)

Well said! Fred :-) Good fun.

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ April 28 2009, 8:13 PM BST

Manager: Would you be willing to change your ethnic origin ?

Candidate: How on earth would I do that ?

Manager: No you're quite right that's completely preposterous, This firm could never get away with trying that again

Laughing out loud

Yeah, I like that bit too. :)

Nice one Sunshine.

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ April 28 2009, 8:13 PM BST

or if I overlook a female I could easily end up on the sex offenders register.

Candidate: I don't think that the sex offenders register is for...

Loved this bit.

:D

Very neat and enjoyable.

There is altogether too much competition to get into News Revue currently.

A good one Fred

A good one Fred

twice

Jolly good work Fred.

What about this:

BOSS
So, when you can start Miss D?

MISS D
Tomorrow.

BOSS
Great. Now I'd like to introduce you to Edward, he's just started this week. You and Edward will be working alongside each other, doing the same job, but Edward will be earning £5,000 more than you - though you won't find this out for a while.

MISS D
Really? And we're doing exactly the same job?

BOSS
No. Well not exactly the same. You will do twice as much and when the4 deadline's looming and Edward can't manage, you'll take over his duties too. Oh, and he gets to go home before you. Okay?

MISS D
Not really, but I haven't got much choice have I....

ENDS

Bitter? Me? ;)

Nice one, Fred. I thought the ending was a bit of a cop out though. Surely there's a smarter way to finish this thing?

.
Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

I was chuckling as I read the funny dialogue - I would have been happy with just that. But then I was hit by that KILLER punchline! I laughed out loud. Hilarious! A masterful (mistressful?) piece of satire, Fred.

Please don't change it! It's great as it is!!

.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ April 29 2009, 10:20 AM BST

What about this:

BOSS
So, when you can start Miss D?

MISS D
Tomorrow.

BOSS
Great. Now I'd like to introduce you to Edward, he's just started this week. You and Edward will be working alongside each other, doing the same job, but Edward will be earning £5,000 more than you - though you won't find this out for a while.

MISS D
Really? And we're doing exactly the same job?

BOSS
No. Well not exactly the same. You will do twice as much and when the4 deadline's looming and Edward can't manage, you'll take over his duties too. Oh, and he gets to go home before you. Okay?

MISS D
Not really, but I haven't got much choice have I....

ENDS

Bitter? Me? ;)

Where was this?

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