Tursiops
Monday 27th April 2009 5:03pm
Welwyn Garden City
9,788 posts
Scotti- I would not say there is no use in posting sitcom scripts on here. They often solicit helpful feedback; and if you had read any of those threads you would realise that your preconceptions of what posters are looking for in a sitcom script are very far from the mark. In this case you have not helped yourself by appearing unnecessarily defensive, and that has distracted from discussion of content.
Quote: Nil Putters @ April 27 2009, 1:11 PM BST
I think Scotti is going for the feel of Empty in this, but you still need funnier lines imo.
As indeed did Empty. But Empty was nonetheless engaging and clever.
Your dialogue may be naturalistic, but that is not the same as capturing a truth. Real life is banal. As reality TV shows demonstrate, the skill is all in the editing. And that is the essence of drama; yes it is artificial, but that does not make it untrue. You should credit audiences with understanding that; they do not need every um, er and repetition to convince them of authenticity. In dramatic dialogue the aim should always be economy.