Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:33 AM BSTUmmmmm. An actor needed them lads?(.....) back to the drawing board then boys?.
You do what you want Scottidog. We'll just carry on doing it properly!
Scene from sitcom. Thoughts? Page 3
Rich coming from a 'wannabe sitcom writer'(.......) grow some bollocks and write some material matey......
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:33 AM BSTTo be honest it is pretty pointless posting your sections of your sitcom on here as it's not as if you know the synopsis or the character descriptions well enough?
An audience doesn't get that kind of information either.
of course they don't but an audience also doesn't just watch one scene from a sitcom though do they?
'of course they don't but an audience also doesn't just watch one scene from a sitcom though do they? '
Some they might, or read a paragraph.
Alot of talk on here, not enough action.
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:42 AM BSTof course they don't but an audience also doesn't just watch one scene from a sitcom though do they?
If you knew people wouldn't understand it without a synopsis why did you post it and expect people to then?
It's not talk it's advice scottidog. Trust me. Get hold of some scripts and see how they are laid out. Part of the job is to convery meaning within the form. People are only telling you the truth of the matter. People aren't reading unsolicited scripts to develop them, the sad truth is they are looking for reasons to reject them quickly so they can move on, the ones that get through are the ones that put up the least reasons for rejection. So make it look professional from the start is the real advice.
To judge it purely on the scene and scene alone. Alot of people on here seem to want to have slapstick american humour all the time. Do you think award winning comedies have an absolute howler at the end of every scene? It would be acted subtle, and all to do with tone and visual effects and facial expressions.
You got anything to good to post chris or mark?
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:42 AM BSTof course they don't but an audience also doesn't just watch one scene from a sitcom though do they?
yes - they all watch their first scene (which may not be the shows first) before choosing to watch on or turn over. Your viewers (readers) won't get to scene two if it's pants and they certainly won't hang in there thinking "maybe this would be better with a nice synopsis"
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:53 AM BSTYou got anything to good to post chris or mark?
Just good advice.
Mark that isn't my script typed up though? is that not obvious. I understand people try and help on here but it all seems alot of talk, am I getting sound advice from experienced people?
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:55 AM BSTMark that isn't my script typed up though? is that not obvious. I understand people try and help on here but it all seems alot of talk, am I getting sound advice from experienced people?
You are from me. Yes. I understand that is not how your script is to be typed up. ALl I am saying is rein in all those ellipses. And have three dots only. The eye will take in how a script looks well before the brain begins to read what is written. The points people are making are well intentioned - I just come across as a smug pratt sometimes.
Ok. Thanks for the 'advice'. Now get out my face, ive got 'This Morning' to crack on with...(3)...(its my day off)
Quote: Scottidog @ April 27 2009, 11:55 AM BSTMark that isn't my script typed up though? is that not obvious. I understand people try and help on here but it all seems alot of talk, am I getting sound advice from experienced people?
Experienced in what though? You don't need a BAFTA to read...
SCOTT: Steve no they dont....where have you heard that shit from!...I swear you make this shit up...
...and think "maybe a different word than shit for the last part, having already used it 6 words before"
Your writing just feels very repetitive (and subtle still needs to be funny) A lot of The Office is laugh out loud (two lesbians, I'm watching), it's not all raised eyebrows.