Gordons hope

ALISTAIR IS TALKING TO GORDON

ALISTAIR
Gordon great news!

GORDON
You found the missing 45 billion pound from the budget under your matress?

ALISTAIR
No Gordon we asked the public to describe you in 3 words.

GORDON
Oh goody! They said I was brave, statesmanlike and clever?

ALISTAIR
No Gordon it was Scottish, retarded and ugly.

GORDON
Alistair you're making fun of me. That's awful.

ALSITAIR
No Gordon there's a person who the public like, Americans like everyone likes who's Scottish, retarded and ugly.

GORDON
Who?

ALISTAIR
Not so fast you'll need a dress.
PUTS A DRESS ON GORDON
Some eye brows.
PULLS HIS EYE BROWS (MASKING TAPE) OFF AND STICKS THEM ON GORDON.

GORDON
Is that it?

ALISTAIR
No Gordon now you have to sing, sing like a frumpy 47 year old virgin angel!

GORDON
Bloody Susan Boyle

I like it Sooty very funny.

But leave the last line out, 'someone' once said to me "if you have to explain it"

Could just have Alistair hitting play on the hi-fi, "I Dreamed A Dream" instrumental comes in.

Pretty good. Brown's eyebrows are bushy enough though.

Quote: Craig H @ April 27 2009, 12:09 AM BST

I like it Sooty very funny.

But leave the last line out, 'someone' once said to me "if you have to explain it"

Could just have Alistair hitting play on the hi-fi, "I Dreamed A Dream" instrumental comes in.

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Hoist by my own petards.

A Shakesperean expression literally meaning exploded by my own flatulence.