British Comedy Guide

Darling Budget 2 (inspired by bigfella's)

Not sure if I've set this out properly as it's my first time. Feedback welcome. Errr

INT: House of Commons.

SPEAKER
The Chancellor of the Exchequer.

ALISTAIR DARLING STANDS UP TO DELIVER HIS BUDGET SPEECH.

LOUD JEERS ERUPT FROM THE BENCHES OPPOSITE.

DARLING
Mr Deputy Speaker, today's Budget will continue to help people through this global recession, and prepare Britain for the opportunities of the future.

DARLING TURNS TO LOOK BEHIND HIM AS A BUZZER IS HEARD

DARLING (more nervously)
Firstly, there will be help now to get people back into work quickly, and support businesses and homeowners facing problems.

A SECOND LOUD BUZZING IS HEARD. DARLING FINGERS HIS COLLAR.

DARLING
Secondly, there will be measures to support investment in the growth and green industries of the future – while, as the recovery takes hold, ensure our public finances are sustainable.

A THIRD BUZZER SOUNDS.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL THREE GIANT RED Xs LIT BEHIND HIM.

CHANTS FROM THE BENCHES
Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!

DARLING, LOOKING GLUM, SLOWLY SITS BACK DOWN.

Ending1:
SPEAKER
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown!

BROWN (looking out from his lazy eye)
Are you looking at me? I'm the only one here..

THREE BUZZERS ARE HEARD IN QUICK SUCCESSION.

Ending2:
SPEAKER
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown!

BROWN MOVES TO THE PODIUM, BAGPIPES UNDER HIS ARM, HE PLACES THE BIT BETWEEN HIS LIPS.

THREE BUZZERS ARE HEARD IN QUICK SUCCESSION.

Ending3:
SPEAKER
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown!

THREE BUZZERS ARE HEARD IN QUICK SUCCESSION.

10,000 posts and your first sketch!

I loved it. Mixed the two biggest news topics perfectly. Would probably stop after the reveal though.
Or have Gordon Brown stand up and do a pitch perfect rendition of Nessun Dorma!

Neat though I'd lose the last line.

You sending it to NR?

Quote: Tom G @ April 25 2009, 11:02 PM BST

10,000 posts and your first sketch!

I loved it. Mixed the two biggest news topics perfectly. Would probably stop after the reveal though.

Ha! I've been working up to it. ;)

Thanks a lot, I was gonna leave it there but thought it was a bit weak.

Quote: sootyj @ April 25 2009, 11:04 PM BST

Neat though I'd lose the last line.

You sending it to NR?

The Brown/Taxi Driver one? Where would you stop?

NR?

Nice idea. Another sketch at 20,000 posts then? :P

nr=news revue

The Brown bit undercuts the joke

Though I am doing a sketch about him being the singing ugly woman cos I think he looks like her.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ April 25 2009, 11:13 PM BST

Nice idea. Another sketch at 20,000 posts then? :P

Nah, I'll rest a while.

Quote: sootyj @ April 25 2009, 11:15 PM BST

nr=news revue

The Brown bit undercuts the joke

Though I am doing a sketch about him being the singing ugly woman cos I think he looks like her.

Oh, is it good enough? How do you do that then?

I've added two other possible endings, any better?

I like ending 3

Good stuff.
:D

Thanks for the encouragement Sunshine. :)

Quote: Tom G @ April 25 2009, 11:26 PM BST

I like ending 3

Yeah, I think I do too.

Nice one, Nil; I like it. :)

You could afford to leave it at "Off, off, off", but if you really want one of those endings, 3 is the best.

Thanks.

Yeah, seems three is the best option. :)

Excellent Nil-mondo, even more excellenter for your first sketch.

It's very well written and yes, I'm very impressed. We should try and do something sometime.

<sex>

Nil - Excellent! Ending Three, has to be.

Quote: Leevil @ April 26 2009, 4:10 AM BST

Excellent Nil-mondo, even more excellenter for your first sketch.

It's very well written and yes, I'm very impressed. We should try and do something sometime.

<sex>

Laughing out loud Thanks Lee.

Quote: bigfella @ April 26 2009, 10:22 AM BST

Nil - Excellent! Ending Three, has to be.

Cheers bigfella, and thanks for the inspiration.

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