THE BRIDGE OF THE ORIGINAL STARSHIP ENTERPRISE
KIRK IS FIDDLING WITH A COMMUNICATOR
KIRK
Who'd have thought primitive 21st century mobile phones would have inspired the modern Starfleet communicator.
THE CREW IGNORE HIM THEY'RE ALL FIDDLING WITH THEIR COMMUNICATORS.
KIRK
I said..
SULU
I head your captain it's just that I got gay grinder installed on my icommunicator and there's a real hotty in hailing range.
CHEKHOV'S COMMUNICATOR BLEEPS HE STARES AT SULU, WHO LOOKS BASHFUL.
LINES REMOVED ON GOOD ADVICE!
A LOAD TINNY BEAT RHYTHM COMES FROM UHURA'S STATION SHE HAS HER COMMUNICATOR OPEN AND SPREAD OUT.
KIRK
Leutenant what is that racket turn it off.
UHURA
Sorry Captain priority one message from Starfleet, they're saying you should suck your mum.
KIRK
Spock did you hear that! Surely that must boil your emotionless, green Vulcan blood.
SPOCK HOLDS UP HIS MOBILE.
SPOCK
Thank you captain I just recorded that on my Sony Erricson communicator. And that's going straight to the union of Vulcan starfleet officers you racist.
KIRK
Voice recording, music, gay chatups on your fancy communicators. Why haven't I got any of those functions?
SPOCK
You have a Nokia3120 communicator, I believe it doesn't even have a camera. Therefore I summise you are what is colloquially known on earth as a wally.
KIRK
But why would I want a camera on my phone? I've got a Sony disc camera in my quarters.
EVERY ONE LAUGHS AT HIM.
SULU
I'm going to put that on my Twitter right away
CHEKHOV
Hang on what's that on the view screen?
A KLINGON SHIP APPEARS AND OPEN FIRES, FOLLOWED BY A ROMULAN ONE WITH A HUGE CAMERA WHICH TAKES A PICTURE.
KIRK
What the hell was that are we at war?
SPOCK
No Captain I believe we've just been happy slapped.
Nice one, Soots.
