Quote: Craig H @ April 23 2009, 2:22 PM BSTThanks for reading and the feedback Mike. Sorry to hear it wasn't to your liking :/ Maybe next time.
See now you've made me feel bad. I just want to hug you now.
I'm here to check the meter Page 2
As always, a great premise Craig and a lot of potential. Like Sooty said though, you need to take a look at it and take out anything that isn't needed and then flag up anything that is needed even more.
If a premise has to be explained it doesn't work, imvho.
Anyway, I've nicked your idea and sent it off to Horne and Corden. Hope you don't mind 
I'd chage the house number as it sets up confusing expectations.
Quote: sootyj @ April 23 2009, 2:51 PM BSTi think you're a good writer Craig, but you make stuff to complex at times and rely on sometimes esoteric stuff.
In this you have a great idea a conman using multiple fake IDs that lead into each other, before getting what he didn't want.
But the extra stuff like looking at the bill confuses stuff.
If you can force yourself to simplify you'd be a top writer.
I think you're right sooty and I think my reliance on the esoteric is mainly due to the fact I'm still learning (ie. not thinking how my script will read or be pictured by others, whereas in my head it's perfectly clear). Every day I'm learning something new, whether it be from your feedback or reading someone elses writing in critique.
So the advice seems to be SIMPLIFY and cut ANYTHING unnecessary.
Quote: Marc P @ April 23 2009, 3:28 PM BSTI'd chage the house number as it sets up confusing expectations.
Noted Marc, cheers!
I'm good at this confusing.
Quote: steven @ April 23 2009, 3:26 PM BSTIf a premise has to be explained it doesn't work, imvho.
Anyway, I've nicked your idea and sent it off to Horne and Corden. Hope you don't mind
I guess you're Steven. To quote sooty "if it has to be explained...."
and by all means send to Horne & Corden. I may be confusing but they are...
Quote: Mike Dan-Carter @ April 23 2009, 2:57 PM BSTSee now you've made me feel bad. I just want to hug you now.
You want my address?
Quote: Tom G @ April 23 2009, 3:14 PM BSTAs always, a great premise Craig and a lot of potential. Like Sooty said though, you need to take a look at it and take out anything that isn't needed and then flag up anything that is needed even more.
Thanks Tom. Keep hearing the same echoes. Simplify and remove the unnecessary!
Craig, always remember that some people don't like Fawlty Towers. Also, you have the right to fail.