iGod Page 2

Me:
'sup?

God:
Same old.

Me:
You got plans for the weekend?

God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question.

Me:
Except that one

God:
" But I do have an answer to every question.."?

Me:
You're speaking in speech marks now?

God:
Oh. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am speaking in speech marks.

Me:
Do what you want, weirdo

God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:

Me:
Forget it, your holiness. How's Jesus?

God:
Fine as far as I know.

Me:
They say his right hand didn't know what the left one was doing.

God:
Is that right?

Me:
Terrible drummer.

God:
What makes you think I have it?

Me:
You know, I always thought God would be smarter than me.

God:
I am a Christian.

Me:
You said it, chuckles.

Here's my last chat with God:

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
It's Stephen
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
No one has ever asked me if I'm sure about my name
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
I guess it was, sorry about that
God:
Stephen was sorry about that? Very interesting.
Me:
Yes. May I ask a personal question?
God:
What kind is it? Ask it. Go on.
Me:
Did you have sex with Mary?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
I know many people who'll disagree with you on that, but ok.
God:
OK. How do you know? That is interesting: Stephen said he who ll disagree with you on that but.
Me:
I did not say that at all
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
Are you arguing with me?
God:
I'm not arguing with anyone.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Can I ask another personal question?
God:
Ask it. One more personal question.
Me:
Have you ever had sex with a man?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
ok, have you ever given food to a man?
God:
I don't think I ever have given food to a man. What's it like? Woe!
Me:
I won't tell you what it's like, but I'll show you
God:
:-) How can I be sure?
Me:
You'll just have to find out
God:
That is a hypothetical assumption.
Me:
I guess it is
God:
Can you explain your reasoning?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know.

Then he started ignoring me again.

I beat god!!!!!

__________

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Craig
God:
What's up, Craig.
Me:
I need to know just 6 lottery numbers for tonight's draw
God:
What kind of knowledge? I will search for it.
Me:
The dream number would be sufficient
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To win the lottery
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I support you
God:
You are not the boss of me, Craig.
Me:
Interesting, quoting the theme song from Malcolm In The Middle
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
Do you know the rest of the song or are you one of those people that sing random parts?
God:
There isn't any more, is there?
Me:
and you're not so big
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Make an ass of you and me?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
One figment of a Christians imagination, my good self and a blender
God:
One what?
Me:
Get a dictionary
God:
Where can I get one?
Me:
Argos
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
What do you prefer?
God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
Are you an MP?
God:
Yes I am an MP. How did you know?
Me:
You have continually avoided my questions
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
If by it you mean aids, it's cause alot of people I know have used you for cheap pleasure.
God:
There exist by it me mean aids it is cause alot of people you know.
Me:
I win
God:
Congratulations, Craig!

.
Craig H - One

God - Nil

Looking good, Craig.

Quote: Morrace @ April 22 2009, 4:39 PM BST

God - Nil

View original

Thanks. I'm good, but not that good.

Hehehe. Oops.