First off; I've often read through threads on here and have been highly amused by the banter and some of the 'fights' that have gone on. Also, ever since I joined BSG, I've toyed with the idea of taking the 'banter' and putting it together so that it would read like a script, i.e., no quotes or replies to something posted 10 pages back. In other words, it would be like natural speech. A reply would be immediate – without quotes, etc.
Anyway, each time I've read Jane P's thread, "Does anyone fancy writing a joint sketch on here?" – I've seen the potential for stringing the banter together. However, I did nothing about it ... until last night. The Devil in me changed the title, "Does anyone fancy writing a joint sketch on here?" to - "Does anyone fancy an orgy on here?" Bearing that in mind, I read through it again and a lot of the lines written by the contributors seemed to fit nicely into an 'Orgy' context.
I've covered Jane P's thread up to page 10 –where the serious fight begins. I left that be! To kick start it, I planted the word 'orgy' twice at the beginning and once in the middle. Also replies and statements may be mixed and matched for effect – comedy even! In other words, I've taken a few liberties. Oh – and I did use one person's 'signature' (couldn't resist!)
Finally - and interestingly enough, this is collaboration. The difference is, none of the 'writers' knew about it! As for me; strictly speaking, I wrote about one percent of it. There are no directions and two scenes; 'Before The Orgy' and 'After The Orgy'. Here's the thread for reference:
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/12491
(Credits at the end of the script)
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Scene 1 BEFORE THE ORGY
JANE P: Who wants to write a sketch a bit like Chinese whispers?
TOM G: Sounds great. But I'd rather have an orgy.
FRED SUNSHINE: Put me in early so that the damage can be repaired. - with say, 10 people?
TOM G: We don't necessarily need 10. I'd say maximum 24 hours with each person.
JANE P: Blimey Tom - I was meant to be organising. Let me have a think...
CHRIS FORSHAW: This sounds interesting, so count me in. I may have an idea to start us off with as well.
JANE P: Thanks Tom - sounds like a plan. Jane P, Tom, Fred... Who's next?
CRAIG H: Great idea. Put me down.
DOLLY DAGGER: There's a joint for you.
JANE P: Nice one Dolly - can I put your name down after Fred?
TOM G: Ok so its... 1. Chris Forshaw; 2. Jane P, 3. Tom G, 4. Fred, 5. Dolly, 6. Craig. Is that enough?
ROB0: Yup, definitely interested, I like sharing. Pretty much so far has been lone efforts.
JANE P: Hi Rob - glad you could make it. We have up to 24 hours each, but I suspect some of us will work quicker than that!
CHRIS FORSHAW: I think there's potential in it
JANE P: Or, if we end up with say more than 10 people we could split it into two projects and have a competition.
TOM G: If you want to get it going Jane ...
JANE P: I only spent an hour on it and tighten up a bit. But there's plenty more can be done with it.
BIGFELLA: There is a Alien with a strange finger that I know - he'd be pretty good at that!
JANE P: Yes I was hoping to get M on board and Marc P who doesn't hold back either.
BIGFELLA: Go on then!!! Add me in! I'll be good at that!
DARREN POMROY: Room for a little one??
BEN: I'll put my spin on it too.
SOOTYJ: Go on why not have a Sootyj spin?
MARC P: Why doesn't someone do one about a pencil?
JANE P: Marc I'm so pleased you're entering into the spirit of it. So does this mean you're in?
MARC P: Me. Nah. I know nothing about orgies.
JANE P: That's not stopping the rest of us. I speak for myself obviously. I'm hoping to claim glory on someone else's behalf. I've heard that's what the professionals do.
DOLLY DAGGER: Come now, don't be so modest. You know you want to really.
TOM G: Dolly said someone can fill her space.
MARC P: Nah, I am a comedy voyeur, a Peeping Tom Sharpe if you like.
TOM G: Dolly can jump in when shes ready.
ROSCOFF: Don't say f**k or bollocks.
JANE P: Roscoff - tsk!
SOOTYJ: And I've pooed in the fish tank.
CRAIG H: Spot on sooty,
JANE P: Personally I'm still disturbed by a dream I had about Gordon Ramsay. Was that Freudian?
Scene 2 AFTER THE ORGY
SOOTYJ: Hooray for everyone just like the Special Olympics.
ROB0: Well done. I enjoyed partaking in this.
CRAIG H: Seems everyone including myself enjoyed doing this and is raring to go for another challenge.
CHRIS FORSHAW: I'd be up for doing it again
FRED SUNSHINE: Same here.
BIGFELLA: I'd be up for it again!
TOM G: When's the next one then Jane?
JANE P: As long as those involved get something out of it, I'll carry on!
DOLLY DAGGER: That's sounds like the right attitude. Just have fun.
JANE P: And Dolly and Marc should join forces.
DOLLY DAGGER: I'll do the smoking.
MARC P: Sad. But true.
CRAIG H: I reckon we should get the ball rolling straight away.
JANE P: If it doesn't carry on, it was fun while it lasted.
CRAIG H: Well put Jane.
JANE P: And on the plus side this does show how passionate everyone is.
TOM G: I've always wanted to be a eunuch, I just don't have the balls.
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The Writers:
Jane P (Special Thanks!)
Tom G
Dolly Dagger
Chris Forshaw
Craig H
Fred Sunshine
Rob0
Bigfella
Darren Pomroy
Ben
Sootyj
Marc P
Roscoff
Additional material & mix 'n' match – Morrace.
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Now I know what all those famous people are complaining about when they're misquoted!
