A Jedi is stood before Jacqui Smith.
Jedi : Master Jacqui, I report that our numbers are growing. Eight new members in the Scottish Police.
Jacqui: (Nodding)Excellent. The force has always been strong up there.
Jedi: True. But Met isn't too shabby either. The G20 protestors, all controlled with the old Jedi mind trick.
Jacqui: And a few hundred batons.
Jedi: Umm.... Master Jacqui. I need a new lightsaber, I'm afraid the battery is buggered on mine.
Jacqui: Shove it through on expenses my Padawan learner. I always do. Remember to include the compulsory bath plug.
Jedi: Thank you Master. Master, I am worried, I have felt a disturbance in the force.
Jacqui: I too have felt this disturbance.
Jedi: It was like thousands of voices crying out in pain and then suddenly being silenced.
Jacqui: Yes, it was. You see there was rumour going round that we were going to win the next election.
Darth Vader's heavy breathing is heard. The Jedi jumps scared to death.
Jedi : Master! It's Lord Vader.
Jacqui: Don't worry my Padawan. It's only my husband. He's watching another porn film.
