Stranger: got any candy?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: what kind
Stranger: ?
You: All kinds. Mostly chocolate.
Stranger: cool
You: But proper chocolate.
You: Not the funny stuff.
You: You're an American, aren't you?
Stranger: so, I'm actually really hungry now
Stranger: thanks dave
Stranger: thanks
You: I love Dave. He's great.
You: Hi, Dave!
Stranger: no
Stranger: I've named you dave
You: He's not great?
You: Ah.
You: That's amazing!
You: My name is totally not Dave.
Stranger: I can't hear your sarcasm over the internet
You: And yet you surmised from my chocolate-owning that that was my name.
You: I don't really do sarcasm.
Stranger: oh man
Stranger: what is your name?
You: I do whimsy.
You: That's not my name.
Stranger: no seriously
You: But, by cracky, I wish it were.
You: I'm Graham.
You: And you?
Stranger: Jimey
Stranger: you aren't a stevens are you?
You: Sadly not.
Stranger: oh man
You: I'm a Bandage. Graham Bandage.
You: What's the weather like over there?
Stranger: overcast and chilly
Stranger: and all the doors and windows in my house are open
You: That's a shame.
Stranger: 's kinda gay
You: You have a gay house?
You: I have no idea how that works.
Stranger: my house only likes house of the same house gender
You: Do all the other houses in your neighbourhood shun your house?
Stranger: all except the hot pink one
You: You go, girlfriend!
Stranger: the hot pink one is also gay
Stranger: they have crazy house sex
You: I hope they use condo-ms.
You: Ha!
You: I made a not very funny.
You: My house is quite heterosexual.
You: I suppose.
You: We've never talked about it.
You: I don't speak house.
Stranger: oh man
Stranger: don't learn it
You: No. I won't.
Stranger: house usually talk about how much housing sucks
You: I'd learn caravan. At least you can use it on your travels.
Stranger: and also complain about your sexual habits
You: True.
You: Although, I am blameless in that department.
Stranger: that's not what the cameras say
Stranger: cause I'm the FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: Jimey, I know you're not the FBI.
You: Omegle tells me so.
You: But, dammit, I wish you were.
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: I wish I was too
You: I thought as much.
You: I imagine there's a lot of paper work, though. It's not all The Silence Of The Lambs.
Stranger: so Metallica is screeching at me
You: That's music, isn't it?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: sometimes
You: Either that, or your parents had a really weird sense of humour when naming your sister.
Stranger: oh man
You: My brother's called Napalm Death, so I know of which I speak,
Stranger: do they sell you at wal-mart?
Stranger: seriously
You: Over here, they're called Asda.
Stranger: Asda?
You: Oui!
You: I'm not really French.
Stranger: but british
Stranger: oo
You: Yes. Wal-Mart owns a British supermarket chain, called Asda.
Stranger: That
Stranger: makes me so happy
Stranger: like in ways your could never understand
You: You've learned something new.
Stranger: *you
You: I understand that perfectly.
You: Knowledge. It's a beautiful thing.
Stranger: http://www.asdanet.org/
You: Anyway, here we are. Ships passing in the night.
You: I'm afraid I have to be up in five and a half hours.
Stranger: oh snap
You: But, listen. You live the dream, OK?
Stranger: k man
You: Never let them stop you.
You: I love you, man.
Stranger: I'll do acid till my heart explodes
Stranger: I lovew you too man
You: Excellent.
Stranger: so much
You: Toodle-pip!
Spooky!
Yeah, that makes so much sense
