INT. LOUNGE - DAY
JAMIE AND DAN ARE SAT WATCHING TV.
JAMIE:
How big is that thing?
DAN:
What thing?
JAMIE:
Your flat screen there.
DAN:
I dunno. Got to be 32 inches.
JAMIE:
No way it is!
DAN:
At least 32 inches.
JAMIE:
Prove it - get a measure. Fiver says it's not.
DAN:
I haven't got one. I don't know inches either - it's only TVs measured in inches.
JAMIE:
That's not true, what about your… you know?
DAN:
Oh right, yeah. Well I could use that.
JAMIE:
Go for it.
DAN:
Let me see… if I can get six going from corner to corner then you owe me a fiver.
JAMIE:
(DOING THE MATHS) Six?
DAN:
Let's keep it to an "I've got the biggest TV" competition, shall we?
JAMIE:
Fair enough. Get measuring then.
SIGHING, DAN UNZIPS HIS FLY.
JAMIE (CONT):
You'll get more than six of them in there!
DAN:
It's not ready yet, is it?
JAMIE:
Come on then – I haven't got all day to measure TVs with penises!
DAN:
Give us a hand then.
JAMIE:
Bloody hell, do I have to do everything? Give it here…
JAMIE'S HEAD GOES TO DAN'S CROTCH AND STARTS MAKING BACK AND FORTH MOTIONS.
AT THIS POINT LIZ ENTERS AND DROPS HER SHOPPING IN SHOCK.
JAMIE (CONT):
It's not what you think, Liz!
