British Comedy Guide

First sentences of a novel Page 3

"It was a dark, stormy night"? :)

Laughing out loud Worse!

'I wish I had a washing machine' said the washer woman, wetly.

Now that's wishy washy.

"The last thing he remembered seeing was a Pikachu hat"?

:D How did you guess!?

Surely everything starts with a death if you factor in 'la petite mort'.

Talking of the bible, did any of you lot know that Noah invented wine?

Of course you didn't.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ April 7 2009, 12:45 AM BST

Surely everything starts with a death if you factor in 'la petite mort'.

Laughing out loud Niiiice.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ April 6 2009, 5:08 PM BST

I tried to write a novel once, the first line was:

" The sun hung in the sky in exactly the same way that a cow didn't."

What a loss to literature I am.

It would be better if it wasn't ripping off The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and if the cow wasn't in the simple past tense: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

That line shows that Douglas Adams himself was clearly influenced by P.G. Wodehouse.

Quote: Kenneth @ April 7 2009, 12:51 AM BST

It would be better if it wasn't ripping off The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Well it's not a rip off if you didn't know you were actually ripping anything off. But cheers for that. :)

Quote: Leevil @ April 6 2009, 5:26 PM BST

:$

"On a hill top all alone, stands a boy, made of stone..."

Very nice.

Quote: zooo @ April 6 2009, 11:30 PM BST

Tell us it then!

You juicy dangler.

(aw, it's ages since I've quoted the Mighty Boosh.) :(

I am officially the only one who thought 'mankind' flowed better. :)
I just liked the two syllables I think. Though you've said Man describes what you were getting at better, so it doesn't matter now.

You have the nub of the matter Ms Zooo - I prefer the sound of mankind better too, but the meaning becomes a little confused as mankind translates as humanity which wan't what I was getting at. I only have 86000 other words to deliberate on now! :)

Quote: Godot Taxis @ April 7 2009, 12:45 AM BST

Surely everything starts with a death if you factor in 'la petite mort'.

Talking of the bible, did any of you lot know that Noah invented wine?

Of course you didn't.

Things that you are liable to read in the Bible aren't neccessarily so.

:)

In my first novel* the first sentence is

Night-time on the river, twenty five miles west of London.

And my agent said to me that isn't a sentence and I said I know and I don't care. Rebel eh? :)

*Available etc

Well found this thread looking for something else. That opening sentence never did see the light of day.

My new one is:

'F**k that!' said Jack Delaney.

(And my last one in it too, on taking advice from here :)

What about 'Duck? not in this weather' said Jack Delaney ;)

Quote: Shandonbelle @ July 25 2011, 11:56 AM BST

What about 'Duck? not in this weather' said Jack Delaney ;)

It's not really that kind of book! :D

Quote: Marc P @ July 25 2011, 11:27 AM BST

And my last one in it too, on taking advice from here :)

That was me, that was!

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