Not a sketch but a spoof news article which I might send off to some places. Would be interested to get some feedback from you wonderful people.
Residents of the village of Pemberly were angered yesterday when their annual fete to celebrate the sight where it's believed William Shakespeare once vomited, was disrupted by Council members from local rival village Duxton. The Duxton Parish Council interrupted proceedings by issuing a writ stating they have evidence to prove that the actual spot where Shakespeare once 'threw up' was indeed in Duxton.
Pemberly have emphatically denied these claims and were quick to question the motivation behind Duxton's proposals. As it has since come to light that the new location where Duxton believe the historic incident occurred is now in fact rather ironically a factory which produces fake vomit for funerals and Bar Mitzvahs. Fake Vomit Ltd have denied any involvement in the new claims made by the Duxton Council, although it has since been leaked that the Duxton based company were planning a new advertising campaign in light of these new findings. The rather catchy pun "Buy vomit from the place where it's believed Shakespeare once vomited" is understood to have been a slogan set to be used in an upcoming brand re-launch.
Despite Duxton's allegations Pemberly remain resolute in defending their piece of history. Pemberly's Mayor stated yesterday "This is just another absurd statement made by an increasingly desperate local council trying to smear our village's rich cultural heritage". This isn't the first incident where Duxton Parish Council's actions have angered the residents of Pemberly. Other previous attacks on the village include, Duxton's attempts to flood the Pemberly economy with orange squash, writing disparaging and explicit graffiti regarding the Mayor of Pemberly's pet dog 'Nigel's' halitosis and sabotaging the village's water supply with the remains of a mime troupe.
Even Duxton's own residents have suffered in the past from their Parish Council's often bizarre antics. Last year the council decided to introduce Polar Bears into the village's eco-system, many political commentators viewed this "gimmicky" and "populist" policy as just an attempt to gain favour in the run up to local elections. The resulting 72 deaths led to some embarrassment for the local parish but fortunately for the council most of the village residents who perished were swing voters or indeed supporters of the opposition.
With both villages refusing to back down, it seems more likely that the conundrum of where William Shakespeare once vomited will have to be settled in court. This case is already drawing comparisons to that of Hafotts Green V Horksley 1986, on that occasion the villages were fighting to decide the true location of where Alec Guinness once threw a Frisbee. William Shakespeare whose literary works include 'Othello', 'Hamlet' and the sit-com 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum' was yesterday unavailable for comment.
