Please bear in mind this is the first thing I have ever written and I only took up writing a couple of days ago. There are 13 scenes (50 pages), sent Morrace 1-4 and he edited scene 2 for me (toned it down a bit and added the tossing the caber bit which almost made me piss myself laughing) Thanks Morrace you have my undying gratitude. 
Heres the edited version of Scene 2
SCENE 2.INT. PUB. DAY.
GAZ AND DONNA ARE SITTING AT THE USUAL TABLE WITH TWO PINTS OF LAGER.
DONNA:
Ok - just to make sure I fully understand your ground-breaking theory on the evolution of the penis.
GAZ:
The male penis.
DONNA:
(IRRITATED) Women don't have dicks you imbecile.
GAZ:
You obviously haven't been paying close attention to my porn lately.
DONNA GETS ANGRY, STANDS UP AND LEANS TOWARDS GAZ IN A THREATENING MANNER.
DONNA:
Gaz Wilkinson, you are a sick...sick ...perverted.
GAZ IS SMILING AT DONNA LUSTFULLY AND SEEMS TO BE TOUCHING HIMSELF.
DONNA REALISES THIS IS TURNING GAZ ON, SO SHE RELAXES AND SITS DOWN.
DONNA:
Right, your amazing theory on the evolution of the male penis, is that some men have bigger dicks than others because ---
GAZ:
(INTERRUPTS) Enormous dicks.
GAZ WINKS, LICKS HIS LIPS AND AGAIN SEEMS TO BE RUBBING HIS GROIN UNDER THE TABLE.
DONNA:
Some men have enormous dicks - men who will remain anonymous considering we don't know any.(SHOOTS A GLANCE AT GAZ) They have larger dicks than others due to balance and foot size, hence the larger the foot, the larger the counterweight to prevent them from falling over.
GAZ:
Exactly, it's all a question of relative wind speed.
DONNA:
No Gaz, please...let me guess this one. People who live in windy areas develop extra large feet to stop them from blowing over, for this reason they also need to develop an extra large counterweight.
GAZ:
Now you're getting it, that's why all those Continentals are such limp-wristed pansies.
DONNA:
Is that why Highlanders wear kilts Gaz, because they are so massive they would never fit into a pair of trousers?
GAZ:
Blimey I never thought of that. Puts a whole new angle on 'tossing the caber'!
DONNA:
Well Charles Darwin, don't you feel silly now for missing that one. If only you would have had Gaz Wilkinson with his extensive knowledge of his own anatomy at your side. Why don't we phone him up Gaz and offer him your expert services.
GAZ:
(FLATTERED) Don't be silly, would never get past the secretary.
DONNA:
Alright Professor Gaz, what about women then, why don't I fall over?
GAZ:
Well that's what tits are for aren't they, (WINKS, LICKS LIPS) amongst other things.
DONNA SPRINGS UP IN A RAGE POINTING THE ANGRY FINGER AT GAZ.
DONNA:
Are you saying I have tiny feet, you big foot bastard.
________________________________________________________________________________
End of Scene
