British Comedy Guide

Life defining moments

Lee mentioned something about the Beach Boys track 'God only knows (what I'd be without you)' at the end of Love Actually.

This made me think about where I'd be if I hadn't met my wife when I did because my life could've turned out very different.

In early 1998 I had the chance to go round the world for a year but I bottled it but within a few weeks I met my now wife through the newspaper, moved in, got engaged and in July we were expecting our first child. If I'd gone none of these would've happened.

Other defining moments include when I once picked up a biro and started sketching at home. I'd given up on art for about three years and was doing clerical work at the time but at that moment I decided to have another go and within a few days a job came up in the in-house design studio. I've now been a graphic designer for 20 years.

I changed jobs about 8 months before the department there closed and everyone was made redundant. When my next company relocated it coincided to the day with a job being advertised for my current position.

What events in your life have set you on an unexpected course? Has it been for the better or do you regret a missed opportunity?

My dad always does this about meeting my mum. He always says how he was never meant to go to the pub the night she was there, and wasn't meant to have that night off work, and all that kind of rubbish, and so he might never have met her, or had us.

But surely, all these people who met their wives etc through special circumstances, would just have met somebody else? The idea that there is only one special person for you is a nice romantic theory, but the reality is there are probably loads of people you could shack up with and find the same level of happiness.

Quote: chipolata @ April 1 2009, 5:21 PM BST

But surely, all these people who met their wives etc througfh special circumstances, would just have met somebody else? The idea that there is only one special person for you is a nice romantic theory, but the reality is there are probably loads of people you could shack up with and find the same level of happiness.

I'm sure your other half would love to hear that. Pleased

Quote: Tuumble @ April 1 2009, 5:02 PM BST

When my next company relocated it coincided to the day with a job being advertised for my current position.

You what now?

Quote: chipolata @ April 1 2009, 5:21 PM BST

But surely, all these people who met their wives etc through special circumstances, would just have met somebody else? The idea that there is only one special person for you is a nice romantic theory, but the reality is there are probably loads of people you could shack up with and find the same level of happiness.

Not for everyone.

Quote: Aaron @ April 1 2009, 5:29 PM BST

Not for everyone.

I'm sure if you hadn't come along zooo would have just found another aesthetically-challenged misogynistic racist homophobe to shack up with for nine months before a better offer comes along. :)

As far as I'm aware, she doesn't know any misogynists or homophobes.

(Apart from yourself, obviously.)

My point was that how fragile life is in the sense that it takes little things at different things to change peoples lives utterly.

I wasn't saying that wouldn't have found anyone else - though that is possibly true ;) - but that three people would cease to exist. Those three people may have partners in future but if they hadn't come along those other people would have utterly different lives too.

Remember the how often tube trains run. Imagine if those 50 people who died in the bombings in 2005 had got up 2 minutes earlier or later. They may still be around today.

This is just opinion and kinda my (admittedly bizarre) world-view. I think free-will and destiny are the same thing, seen from different angles.

For example, Tuumble bottled the world tour and so met his wife. But he was always going to meet her, because of who he is and the decisions he makes when given a choice.

Replay the scene, time and again - given the same choice, and his then present experience and state of mind - he would always reject the trip. He appears to have made a free choice but was it really free when the outcome was already (imo) predetermined by his character?

For me, life-defining moments are really the wrong way around. Events don't determine the person or the course of their life. It's your character that has already predetermined your choice in any future situation. Choice only serves to reveal our underlying character, to ourselves and others.

For me, in my weird world, destiny and chance are illusion. Character is the substance, that determines your path and your end.
:)

My life-defining / predestined / lucky (take your pick) moments:
Hearing a certain song for the first time. Realising music had an ability to stir me, starting a life-long passion for composing (words or music), and also discovering an ability to experience a set of emotions vicariously.

Meeting a particular and beloved creature that changed the way I view the natural world.

The first time I experienced being loved despite what I was, not for what I was.

Quote: SlagA @ April 1 2009, 6:43 PM BST

For me, life-defining moments are really the wrong way around. Events don't determine the person or the course of their life. It's your character that has already predetermined your choice in any future situation. Choice only serves to reveal our underlying character, to ourselves and others.

What about outside influence?

Quote: chipolata @ April 1 2009, 5:31 PM BST

I'm sure if you hadn't come along zooo would have just found another aesthetically-challenged misogynistic racist homophobe to shack up with for nine months before a better offer comes along. :)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

He's not aesthetically challenged.

Quote: Aaron @ April 1 2009, 5:37 PM BST

As far as I'm aware, she doesn't know any misogynists or homophobes.

(Apart from yourself, obviously.)

Go Aaron. :)

*does some kind of cheer thing. Like what they did on EastEnders last night...*

Quote: Leevil @ April 1 2009, 6:46 PM BST

What about outside influence?

As in? You mean other people and how their choices affect you?

In my odd world, they too are making choices. "Do we close down this factory or that?" "What pub shall we go too?" But their decisions are similarly determined by their character. So replay the scene and they will always present to you the same choices, because of who they are and the choices they will inevitably make, given the circumstance. "Ok. We'll close this factory." "Let's go here. I don't like it there."

Is that what you mean?
:)

Quote: SlagA @ April 1 2009, 6:58 PM BST

Is that what you mean?
:)

It is. Nice explanation. :)

So what pub are we going to? Huh?

Quote: zooo @ April 1 2009, 6:48 PM BST

*does some kind of cheer thing. Like what they did on EastEnders last night...*

Laughing out loud

Barbera Windsor still has - that's the problem though, it should've been thrown out a long time ago. Sick

Quote: Leevil @ April 1 2009, 7:02 PM BST

So what pub are we going to? Huh?

It has already been determined. :D

Quote: SlagA @ April 1 2009, 7:03 PM BST

It has already been determined. :D

So has my banning and any rejection from the ladies. I think I'll just stay in tonight. Teary

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